Page 42 of The Odyssean Duke

Murrayton took a sip of his brandy, his expression thoughtful. “Would it be so bad for her to be involved in your family’s life? Or for you to be involved in hers? It seems like marriage to the Dowager Countess of Thornwall might prove beneficial in other ways besides merely giving you an heir. She can remind you what is expected of a duke.”

“In time, I will remember well enough on my own,” Stephan said.

“So you say,” Murrayton said. “But what is the title and its wealth worth if you cannot pour all that you become into your family? It cannot truly be only that you wish to win over your grandmother.”

Stephan deliberately did not say that besting his grandmother was, indeed, at the forefront of his mind. “You would not understand.”

Murrayton sighed. “You always say that when you do not wish to explain yourself to me.”

“That is untrue.”

Murrayton’s face softened. “No, itistrue,” he insisted. “We are friends, and we have survived more together than most gentlemen will in their entire lives. And you have always been kind to me. You supported me when no one else would. I will never forget that.”

Stephan took a large swallow of brandy, trying to bide himself some time, because he suspected that he would not like what Murrayton said next.

“And yet,” Murrayton continued, “when I wish to support you in turn, when I am offering my sympathies and my friendship, when you truly need me—you lie. You obfuscate. You tell me that I do not understand, as though it is some profound failing on my part.”

“I never said it was failing,” Stephan countered.

“Some things do not have to besaid,” Murrayton said. “How can you accuse me of not understanding if you never explain anything about yourself?”

Stephan inhaled sharply, reeling from the unexpected chastisement. “You know me better than anyone alive.”

“I do, but not when it comes to things like this. Not when it matters.”

Stephan sipped his brandy and considered his friend carefully. “In the British Museum, Lady Thornwall claimed that I am Odysseus.”

“Did she?” Murrayton asked. “Oh, howhorrible! She compared you to a clever, heroic man. How ever shall you survive such praise?”

“This is precisely why I do not share my thoughts with you,” Stephan said. “You mock me.”

That was not precisely true, and given Murrayton’s indulgent smile, Stephan suspected that his friendknewhe was exaggerating.

“Then, what is the problem with it?” Murrayton asked.

“It is untrue,” Stephan said. “It is the romantic image of a woman who has never seen a war and never will. I belong to wars—tothewar. At sea was the only place where I ever really felt that I belonged. I was good at being an admiral and had the respect of my men, and that was enough. I was happy.”

Murrayton slowly nodded. “I see.”

“Do you?” Stephan asked. “Because you seem to be comfortable being in London. Even when we were in the war, you were fighting for her, for your beloved Amelia. You are far more like Odysseus than I am. You even had your Penelope waiting at home for you.”

“It was luck that she was,” Murrayton said softly.

“I know,” Stephan said. “But still, the thought of her was what drove you. You have been welcome everywhere. Has there been a single moment in your life when you felt as though you did not belong?”

“Of course,” Murrayton replied. “Every man has felt at one time or another like he did not belong.”

Stephan shook his head, frustration threatening to boil over inside him. “I imagine you are thinking about when your wife’s family rejected you, but that is a single moment in your entire life. Generally, you have felt at home everywhere you go. At sea, in London—it matters not to you.”

Murrayton sighed. “You make a place your home, Rothbury.Homeis not something that simply happens to you; it is something that you must make. It takes effort.”

“And I have tried,” Stephan shot back.

He had lost count of all the times that he had tried and failed to prove himself worthy to the Dowager Duchess of Thornwall.This time, he would emerge victorious. He would take the title of the Duke of Rothbury and all that went with it, and he would emerge victorious in their longstanding feud.

“You have been away from London for a decade,” Murrayton said. “You have changed, and the city has changed.”

Stephan snorted. “I have seen little change in it.”