Page 69 of Kat Bethel

Chapter 25:

Ifinallystoleacar and continued my journey back to Cornwall. My fingers tapped on the middle console as I thought about the shadow I saw.

I popped one of my anti-anxiety pills with shaking hands, chasing it with bitter gas station coffee. Caffeine probably wasn’t my friend right now. I tossed it to the side, not caring when it spilt on the upholstery.

My skin itched as the silence blared in my ears, leaving only my thoughts to fill the quiet.

That never ended well.

Stop mebefore I destroy everything.

“What is upsetting you, Dandelion?” The lights flickered.

My breathing grew louder as my chest tightened painfully. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get air in my lungs. The tiny car was getting smaller, compacting me from all sides.

If I drove the car over the median I wouldn’t feel so caged anymore.

That thought lingered for one second too long. I jerked the car over to the breakdown lane, before the idea could take root. Knowing me, I’d be a little bit too eager to find out.

I climbed out of the car, not even checking to see if anyone was coming. A car sped past me close enough for the window to graze my arm, but I didn’t care.

“Dandelion!” There was a growled warning to get back in the car, but I ignored it.

Instead, I sat down on the hill, on the passenger side, struggling to breathe.

In.

Out.

You idiot.

You fuck everything up.

That’s why no one will ever love you.

I let out a guttural scream to drown out the thoughts so I couldn’t hear them anymore. The cars on the highway swallowed the sound, even when I kept going until my throat was turned to torn, raw meat. The voices were winning.

“Dandelion, it’s okay.” Abiel wrapped his arms around me.

I knew what I saw.

Soothing lies weren’t going to help me.

“Don’t touch me!” I shrieked, and I guess I was distressed enough he did what I said.

“Maybe you should call Esme or Willow.” The grass burned away where he sat beside me.

Shame filled me and twisted my stomach more. How could I? I betrayed everything we stood for.

My head wasn’t right that night. They let me leave, but I hadn’t been ready. Nothing good could have been created that night.

And I was directly responsible for it.

Fuck.

How did I fix this?

Not by sitting here throwing a temper tantrum.