Page 61 of Crashing Into You

“I don’t know. Fuck, I don’t know anything. This has all happened so fast.”

“What do you want me to do? Just say the word and I’ll do it. We can scrub her from your socials, set up something else— What?”

I’m glaring at him. “I don’t want Claire scrubbed from anything. I want her back. What I need is to use your phone.”

Jeff stares at me. Then, with a sigh, he unlocks his phone and hands it over. I put Claire’s number in, and before I can think about it too much, I press dial.

It starts to ring.

ChapterTwenty-Seven

Claire

Ineed to pull myself together: I’m at work and my boss is here.

Anna breezed in this morning, an armful of lush clothing draped over one arm. Normally I would have been totally excited to see her and to try on the new clothing. But it’s a struggle to be enthusiastic about anything at the moment. Still, I try to make all the appropriate noises, trying on a few of the new pieces, choosing some for the window display. But that just reminds me of how I met Bryce. It’s beyond unbearable that his picture is still on the wall behind the till, set into its frame. I can hardly look at it.

I miss him, so much.

I don’t care about Simon, about work, about anything.

I’ve washed the sheets we slept in, only because I couldn’t bear to smell his scent and not have him near me. And then cried as I took them out of the washing machine, wishing I could get it back. I think I’ve lost my mind. In a way, I kind of understand how Simon feels now: the pain of loving someone when they don’t love you back is a vicious kind of hurt.

But I need to get on with things. I have a life down here. The fact that it suddenly seems grey and dull is just temporary, that’s all. I didn’t even know Bryce a month ago. I can move forward from this. I know I can.

“Is everything all right, Claire?”

I realise I’m standing at a rack, a top in my hand. It’s one of the new pieces, and I’m supposed to be deciding the best place to hang it. But instead, I’m staring into space like some sort of lovesick zombie.

Anna’s pretty face is screwed up in a frown. She’s a few years older than me, frequently featured in those “30 businesswomen under 30” articles. Her stores are doing really well. She started out with a shop in Bali, but she now has half a dozen in Victoria and NSW, and is about to open one in Perth. She’s also looking at possibly expanding overseas. She divides her time between a lush villa in Bali and a flash apartment in inner Melbourne, as well as travelling the world sourcing stock. Her husband, Hamish, works in finance. He seems like a nice guy, but I’ve only met him once or twice.

I blink. “Uh, yeah. It’s fine.”

“You sure?” She comes out from behind the counter and takes the top out of my hand. “I spoke to you three times before you answered. And you look tired. Are things catching up with you again?” Her voice is so kind, I almost burst into tears. Anna knows about my parents and what happened to them. She also knows about the Simon situation. I had to tell her because he kept bombarding me with gifts and visits at work, to the point where it was disrupting things. He was sent a polite cease and desist letter asking him to stop which, to my surprise, he obeyed. And then, of course, when I finally broke free of him, Anna offered me a place to stay until things died down, a small apartment in Geelong she said was something to do with her husband’s finance company. She’s a friend, as well as my boss. I know I need to tell her about this, not only because it’s affecting my job. I’m just not sure where to begin.

“It’s not that. It’s uh…” Then, to my horror, I actually do burst into tears.

“Oh, Claire.” Anna goes to the door of the shop, turns the sign to “Closed” and locks the door. She leads me into the small back room, sitting me down on the chair at the desk and hands me a box of tissues. She perches on the stool opposite me, her hands on her knees.

I haven’t told Joss and Sal what’s going on. I’m too embarrassed. Claire and her pathetic mess of a love life again. Let them think I’m holed up with Bryce, making our way through the list Joss wrote. The thought brings forth a fresh bout of tears. I try to control myself, wiping my face and running my hands through my hair.

“Is it Simon again? Do you want to talk about it?”

I do want to talk about it, but I don’t need to burden my boss as well. As though she can sense this, Anna reaches out.

“It’s just us, two girls. I get it, believe me. Sometimes you need a place to talk.” She looks distant for a moment, a line appearing between her brows. “So come on, hit me with it.”

“Uh, I need you to… I need for the picture behind the till to be gone.”

“What?” Anna looks totally confused. I don’t blame her: I’m sure it’s the last thing she expected me to say. “What’s wrong with the poster?”

“It’s Bryce.” My voice cracks when I say his name. “He and I… um.” Then I break down and tell her everything.

By the time I finish, there’s a sheen of tears in Anna’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Claire. I’ve had so much going on… I didn’t realise.” She takes my hand, her voice rough with emotion. “Maybe you should take some time off.”

“But it’s the busiest time of the year!” I rescue my hand and grab another tissue, blowing my nose.

“My cousin, Corinne, is down for the summer. She can come and help out. And I’m staying for a little while longer as well. Plus, I’m sure Lisa will pick up another day if I ask her to.”