Page 18 of Crashing Into You

I watch her carefully, though, as we shriek our way through the Ghost Train, as she clings to my hand on the Coney Drop, but there seems to be no trace of the darkness that almost consumed her a year ago.

I also find myself thinking of Claire. I imagine she’s visited Luna Park as well, growing up in Melbourne. Strange to think we could have been here at the same time when we were kids and not even realised. I’d like to bring her back here, I realise. Like to see her laugh, hold her hand on the big rides, maybe sneak a kiss in the smoky darkness of the Ghost Train.

“On your head, or all down your front?”

I look up, realising I’ve been staring into space. I’m sitting on a bench while Millie grabs us drinks.

“Neither, smartarse,” I say, taking my drink from her. “Thank you.”

“Got you one of these as well,” she says, sitting down next to me. She hands me a roll, wrapped in a white paper bag. It smells like a greasy breakfast dream.

My mouth starts to water. “Mum’s doing lunch for us, isn’t she?”

“What Mum doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” she says, unwrapping her own roll and taking a bite. Her eyes close and she groans. “God. Why are these still so good?”

“It’s the grease.” I dig into my own roll. “Good call.”

Once we’ve finished eating, Millie slurping the last of her drink, I touch her arm, gently. “These are new,” I say, nodding towards the twining vines and butterflies tattooed from her shoulder to her wrist.

“Yeah.” Her brows draw together for a moment. “Ijust… I wanted to make a fresh start. And I thought butterflies were a good metaphor, you know? They go into the dark and they come out as something new and beautiful.”

Emotion burns my throat. “You’ve always been beautiful,” I say, my voice rough. “But I do like these. How’s school going?”

“I really like my course,” she replies, her green eyes, the same as mine, lighting up. “It’s so cool! Fashion is definitely my scene.”

“It always has been, hasn’t it? You were always going to op shops and cutting up old dresses to make new stuff.”

“And now I get to learn how to do it properly,” she says, her expression dreamy. “It’s awesome.” Then her gaze sharpens, landing on me. “You seem to be trying new things as well.”

I hold back a sigh. I wondered how long it would take. “Does Mum know?”

“That you have a girlfriend?” She laughs. “Yeah, of course she does. You think I didn’t show her that photo? So, who is she? Is she nice?”

“No. She’s awful. One of the worst people ever. It’s why I wanted to date her. What do you reckon?”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. Don’t tell me. But you know Mum will give you the third degree at lunch. She already wants to know when she gets to meet her.”

“Ah, shit.” I rub the back of my neck. “Yeah. I’ll have to arrange that at some point.”

“Are you really not going to tell me about her?”

“Her name is Claire. She’s very cool. We met down the coast.”

“Down the coast? But you’ve only been back a few days. How can you have a girlfriend already?”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell Mil what’s really going on, but something about doing so feels wrong, like I’m being disloyal to Claire. She is technically my girlfriend, after all. No one needs to know it’s just for appearances. “Uh, I met her before. She’s a friend of Kylie’s. And we just hit it off when we saw each other again.”

“So was that before or after the threesome?”

“Christ, Mil. Please tell me Mum didn’t see that. It’s bad enough you did.”

She shakes her head. “Please. You’ve been getting yourself in trouble with girls since we were in school. You can’t shock me.”

“Mate, you don’t need to see that though.”

She shrugs. “You’ve seen plenty with me, too.”

We’re both quiet for a moment. “Is everything okay?” I say, eventually.