Page 72 of Blade

The low grumbling sound he let out made me sigh. “Fine. There is nothing wrong with having emotions about something or a situation. They’re all reasonable.”

We’d listened to too many podcasts.

How he made a huff sound self-satisfied I’d never know.

“I didn’t think mate stuff would affect me like that because…well…human.” That was clearly an incorrect assumption on bothour parts. “I would’ve put the feelings in the reasonable category if I’d thought it would alter my emotions somehow.

Another lick.

That time it was softer and came with a low whine…clearly an apology.

“You didn’t do anything wrong either. This was a learning experience and we’ll both make changes going forward.” He grumbled again, low with more of a frustrated quality to it. “You’d have said something earlier if I was honest about how I was feeling.”

The way he turned his head away from me said he wasn’t satisfied with that response, and in this form, Blaine seemed more inclined to show it. My sexy murder kitty was slightly dramatic with his emotions more on the surface, so I kept stroking the part of his leg that I could reach and made a quiet pleased sound. “I also didn’t give you much to go on because I kept putting off some stuff.”

I hadn’t made it easy for him, so he couldn’t take the blame for this. “You were trying to figure out the balance of when to push and when to let me process. That’s hard for a Dom in a new relationship, which I’m sure you saw someone mention online.”

With some monster groups I might’ve been able to say my mate was psychic, but for the moment, mine could only read my emotions and scent changes.

“You’re adapting to a new mate, a new type of relationship, and a new reality. I think you’re going to give my sexy murder kitty a break and be nice to him.” That got a laugh from him, the chuffing sound making me smile. “Him being too patient with his slightly neurotic mate was not a bad decision.”

It’d been more reasonable than mine, that was for sure.

I stopped lecturing him when he turned back to me and nuzzled his face against mine. “You did a good job. I’m feeling much better.”

That didn’t mean I wouldn’t make more ridiculous decisions but they’d be new and different ones.

“I do still like the idea of traveling even if I’m not being slightly manic about it.” Being able to look at it more rationally made that feel like that was the best description I could give. “And I will understand completely if I give off weird energy and you question how I’m feeling.”

Hmm.

“The first few times you do it. Once we get past five in the next month, then I might roll my eyes.” That got another laugh out of him and earned me another happy lick, but based on the way he settled back over me, he wasn’t going anywhere. “And as you learned earlier…I, um…I like spankings, so I don’t want us to use that as a punishment or consequence.”

He wouldn’t like that either.

As he grumbled, I stretched up and kissed the side of his head. “That means I’m going to do my best to make good choices, so I get rewards and don’t stress us both out.”

When that got me another lick, I smiled and closed my eyes, letting the heavy feeling of his body trapping mine soak into me. All it took was for me to stop fighting the happy feelings it was giving me to have them rushing back, and Blaine’s rumbling exhale said he’d noticed.

“I don’t know why I like being trapped but I do.” My childhood was a mess, so I wasn’t going to try to pin it down. “I can give myself a lighter version of the feeling by restraining myself in some way, but that’s not always safe, so I don’t try to do it deliberately. The net thing was honestly an accident.”

Somehow.

“I just haven’t been able to safely explore it enough to be completely comfortable talking about it with someone in person.” I’d tried but everyone’s first question was always why, and I wasn’t going to analyze myself like that. “I’m better onlinebecause of that distance and not having to face someone. I’m also better at talking about it when my own emotions aren’t involved.”

And as new as everything was with Blaine, my emotions were very involved and hard to sort through.

His lick said he probably understood that.

“I also wasn’t sure how to talk about it without the BDSM stuff possibly being confusing. I didn’t want you to think there was anything wrong with me. It doesn’t always come across right to people who’ve never heard of it before.” I didn’t think anything I was into fell into the deeper end of BDSM but telling someone I was looking for a guy who would tie me up and dominate me didn’t always go over well.

Rumbling low, Blaine shifted to lay more of his body down mine, showing me that he didn’t have an issue with restraining me. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to laugh or tell him how sweet he was, but either way, he turned off my brain a little more.

I loved the floaty feeling it could give me, but having Blaine be the one to do it made it even better. This form just came with less naughty fantasies associated with it. I’d figure out how to bring that up eventually, but for the moment, I closed my eyes and focused on just being with him, completely restrained.

He was heavy enough in this form that I wasn’t going to move until he let me.

It was an amazing, all-encompassing control that had the rest of the world going fuzzy again. I found myself letting out a slow breath and wrapping myself in the wonderful feelings in a way I hadn’t been able to do for a very long time.