Page 5 of Blade

His muzzle or nose or face or whatever I was calling the front of his head barely grazed the bottom of the net, but there was noway he’d tried his hardest to reach me. The crazy creature wasn’t even out of breath as he started circling me again.

It was freaky as hell, but as bad as it was to see him watching me hungrily, it was worse when I couldn’t see him. Hearing him breathing and knowing all those teeth were focused on me had my heart pounding so hard in my ears I couldn’t hear anything else.

“Good murder kitty. Sweet murder kitty.” All those button people used short sentences with simple words, right? “Happy murder kitty. Stupid Henley is yucky. Not food.”

There was no way I’d be a good snack. I was stringy and didn’t have nearly enough fat on me to make me juicy. Everyone knew lean steaks weren’t good unless you cooked them right. Eating me raw would suck.

“Henley is human. Henley is stupid.” Oh. He’d stopped again. “Smart murder kitty.”

Maybe if I was lucky he’d have some kind of praise kink?

“Good murder kitty.” I really hoped he was some kind of cat. As far as I could tell he seemed to be mostly cat but the canines and something about the shape of his head said dog to me. “Pretty murder kitty.”

What the fuck?

Had that actually worked?

Sitting down, the cat-like thing cocked his head back and forth like a confused dog that was trying to work out what the fuck was going on.

“Good murder kitty. You’re so smart.” The worst part about the whole situation was that it looked like my father was right. I was too stupid to survive on my own and now I was going to be eaten by a monster.

A real one…not the Bigfoot lady my father had tried to get me to go take out because she’d ended up in too many tourist photos.

Just because she seemed to be some kind of exhibitionist didn’t mean she needed to die.

“Pretty murder kitty.” He had pretty eyes at least. The rest of him was too scary to be considered pretty but that wasn’t his fault. “Strong murder kitty. I can see your muscles. You’re a big guy, aren’t you?”

Well, I hoped he was a guy, otherwise I’d really insulted some female who couldn’t help being built like the cross between a linebacker and one of those ancient-looking monster dogs in Europe.

I knew more about monster variants than I did real animals and I was starting to think that was a strategic error.

“I can see how everyone calls you smart.” And scary and a predator. Those teeth. “You’re studying the situation and not just randomly trying to attack me.”

Please God and everything that might be out in the universe, I did not want that thing to start attacking me.

Oh, shit.

It was stretching again and it looked like he was getting ready to use all those muscles.

“Good murder kitty.” Where were those women who taught cats to talk when I needed one? “Happy murder kitty.”

No.

He was not a happy kitty.

He was a fucking strong murder kitty, leaping like we were in some kind of video game and I was the NPC that did stupid shit over and over.

“Fucking hell.” He really was a smart kitty because he’d stopped going for the ropes and had just about sailed right over me to get the large limb I’d tied the trap to. “That was. You’re. Fucking hell.”

One swipe of a paw that seemed much larger up close scarred the branch and I could feel the whole tree vibrate.

How long were his claws?

“Smart murder kitty. Oh dear. Strong murder kitty.” He wouldn’t be able to get me down that way, would he? “Um, go find something tastier to eat. Murder kitty go hunt for food. Squirrels good. Human yucky.”

Had I heard any stories of him actually eating people?

He’d been accused of eating everything from pigs to local pets, but I didn’t think any of the stories mentioned people randomly disappearing.