Page 30 of The Arrangement

I took a shuddering breath and slowly placed the pommel of the knife in his hand. The second I fully relinquished it, he tightened his hold, then set it far out of reach, all without breaking eye contact.

“How ya doin’, James?”

“I… I don’t know.” Fuck, I was still so disoriented. I hated this.

“Do you know where you are?”

I nodded. “Fairhope in… in the apartment over the flower shop.” This was why I didn’t watch action movies before bed. When was the last time I had an episode this bad? Oh God, I’d almost stabbed Marc. I flinched back, but that didn’t preventhim from continuing to slowly close the distance, hands still where I could see them.

“Hey, shh shh, it’s okay. That’s right. Can you tell me what you need?”

Emotion rose like a tidal wave, like it always did in the aftermath of an episode, slamming me in the chest. I didn’t know if it was like that for everyone, but it was for me. Breathing became a chore, and I struggled to push out the words, “I don’t want to hurt you,” but God only knew how much of it actually made it out before the debilitating emotion won and I crumpled into a wrung out heap on the couch.

Chapter 17

Marc

Ireached for the pillow I normally snuggled with and frowned when I found it notably absent. Grumbling to myself, I floundered around for it, assuming that once again I’d knocked it off the bed while tossing and turning. Not that I recalled tossing and turning. Come to think of it, the last thing I remembered was curling up on the couch and watching movies with JD. We’d even traded a few kisses. I hummed contentedly. Those had been awesome. Nowhere near the disastrous mauling I’d given him earlier in the evening. More like sweet presses of lips with a light teasing of tongue that made me think of the way peach blossoms blushed and fluttered in the breeze.

Eventually, we’d dozed off. I’d woken up at some point, picked up the leftover pizza and beer bottles, made JD as comfortable as I’d dared, turned off the television, and headed to bed. I hadn’t been sure if it was the loud thump or the shout that woke me, but I’d been out of bed and in the living room ready to throw downin a heartbeat. When I’d realized JD was having a nightmare, I’d called out to him. Then I’d realized it wasn’tjusta nightmare.

I jerked the rest of the way awake, no longer looking for my snuggle pillow, and now searching desperately for JD. My gaze landed on the coffee table where I’d set the knife, but it was conspicuously absent.Oh shit-oh shit-oh shit.

“In here, baby boy.”

I whipped around, and only a frantic grab of the back of the couch prevented me from catapulting backward. Sure as sugar, JD was standing in the kitchen by the coffeemaker. For some reason his hair was wet, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Not that I was complaining about either of those things. I slowly got up and my back popped like a goddamn glow stick. I grunted.

“Fuck, getting old sucks.”

“Shut your face, Weathers. You’re four years younger than me.” I darted a look at him, and he winked, dissipating my anxiety before it had a chance to build. “I, uh, hope you don’t mind. I couldn’t really get back to sleep, so I went for a run. Not at the preserve, just nearby. I was tempted to move you back to the bed, but worried that might be overstepping. Anyway, I just got out of the shower, so that’s why the coffee’s late, and I hope you’re not upset I went running without you.”

I finally made it into the kitchen and was only a little put out to see that the shower also meant his skimpy running shorts had been traded for looser workout shorts. Not that I planned to be admitting that out loud anytime soon. “I don’t mind at all. And as much as I appreciate you making me coffee every morning, you know you don’t have to. Right?”

He shrugged, and I triedreallyhard not to stare at what the move did to his muscles. “I like doing it. And you’re sure you’re not upset I went for a run without you?” he asked, reaching past me to start the machine, because Imighthave insertedmyself ‌between him and it. If that brought him closer, sorry-not-sorry.

“Nope.” I grinned at him, loving how relaxed he looked this morning. What I really wanted to do was wrap my hands around his waist. He’d done it to me last night. Surely that meant it was okay. Then again, after an entire day of spiraling, I opted to take the smarter approach. “Can I touch you?”

Surprise flickered in his eyes, then turned into a smile that, while small on his lips, shone in his eyes. “I like it when you touch me.”

“Yeah?” I asked, suddenly breathless. Were we getting closer? Did I care? Solid no, because we weren’t close enough.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed.

“So… this is okay?” I tentatively touched his side, first with the tips of my fingers, and kept going until the warmth of his skin suffused my entire palm. Granted, I was a tad preoccupied, but I think both of us might have moaned at the contact.

“Green, Weathers. So much fucking green.” He leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine. The peaceful intimacy of the moment washed over me, and it was everything. Even better, I wanted more. More with JD.

As if occupying the same frequency, he shifted so his nose brushed along mine. I tilted my head up, my eyelids already drifting shut in anticipation. The initial brush of our lips was as electric as it was tender. I sighed into him and used my hold on his waist to tug him a little closer. He teased the seam of my lips, and I gladly opened for him, luxuriating in the unhurried, playful dance of our tongues.

I smiled as I continued kissing him as if it were the only thing I planned to do today and felt his responding smile. Needing more, I brought my other hand to rest on his waist and pulled him close enough that we pressed together from hip to sternum. Desire spiralled inside me as the kiss deepened naturally,making me a little dizzy. Oh fuck. This.Thisis what I wanted, what I’d been chasing my whole life. I mindlessly ground against him, pleased to find him just as worked up over something as simple as kissing.

God, I wanted to touch him everywhere. Suck bruises into his neck. Learn what made him squirm. Tease his nipples. Run my fingers through his hair. I wanted all of it. My hold on his waist drifted lower, and I dug my fingers into the top of his perfectly tight ass, forcing him harder against me with a gasp. I was point-five seconds away from suggesting we take this party horizontal before I blew my load. So, naturally, the coffeemaker had to go and beep and ruin it all.

JD chuckled at the undignified sound I made when he pulled out of the latest heated kiss. “I know, baby boy, I know.” He cupped the back of my head with his massive hand and peppered me with a few more kisses before finally pulling himself away with a groan. “Probably for the best. Last thing I need is to come in my shorts. I don’t think I can handle two mortifying embarrassments in less than eight hours.” He gave me a cheeky grin and grabbed a fresh set of coffee cups from the cabinet behind him.

I released a derisive snort, while also making a mental note to add a fun coffee cup to my ever-growing list of pebbles.

“Oh, got something to say, Weathers?” he asked, arching a bushy copper eyebrow in challenge as he poured a copious amount of sugar into his cup.