Page 22 of The Arrangement

Alex: Excuse me, I think I died and have hallucinated the last four minutes of my life. YOU NEED TO CALL ME!

Oh yeah, the messages were every bit as wild as I expected they’d be. I huffed a laugh, and JD turned to look at me.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, his copper eyebrows creasing together.

“Right as rain, Sarge. Um, but I do need to call my sister back real quick. Would you mind ordering? I promise, everything here is good. You literally can’t go wrong.” I fished out my wallet and pulled two twenties free, then stepped into his personal space and slid them into the front pocket of his cargo shorts. “You already know I’m not fussy.”

Not gonna lie, I kinda wanted to crow in triumph at the look on his face when I walked away. Ha! I could totally do this casual flirting thing. Boo-yah! So, of course, that’s when my phone rang, destroying my suave exit.

“Dammit, Alex, you couldn’t have given me thirty more seconds?” I hissed as I hightailed around the nearest corner, out of sight and hopefully out of earshot. Just in case, I lowered my voice.

“Look, we both know patience isn’t a virtue either of us possesses. Spill. How the hell… I mean, what… who…” I didn’t have to see her to know she was throwing her hands up in frustration. “I literally don’t even know where to start.”

“I know the feeling,” I whispered, glancing back the way I’d come. “I don’t have a whole lot of time, so you’re getting the Cliff's Notes version.” I gave her averyabridged version of events. Undoubtedly she’d demand the sordid details later, and she could have them, because, right or wrong, we didn’t keepanythingfrom each other, but this was neither the time nor the place. As it was, I wouldn’t put it past JD to come looking for me. He was in search and rescue after all.

“That’s… a lot to process. I get why you’re freaking out, but cut yourself some slack, Tulip. We’ve known you’re demisexual for as long as we’ve known I’m pan. You’ve had attraction to guys before, you’ve just never done anything with it.”

I ran my hand over my face, which was already damp from the pervasive humidity. “I know, and it’s not that. Or not entirely that, though I certainly feel out of my depth.”

“And you hate feeling out of control.” I sighed my agreement, and we were quiet for a moment. “It’s because it’shim,” she finally said.

“Yeah,” I admitted, hating how defeated I sounded. “What if… what if it’s not real?” I asked, pushing the words past my tight throat.

“Because of the hero worship-thing?” she asked softly.

I tilted my head back against the brick wall and ignored the sudden stinging in my eyes. “What if I’m wrong and it’s notgenuine attraction? I don’t want to lead him on. I think it might destroy me.”

“Oh, Tulip.” I loved how her voice could feel like a hug even when she was hundreds of miles away, always had. “I really wish I were there to give you a hug.” A smile twitched at my lips at our twin-sync. “Let’s try looking at it like this. Instead of worrying that you’re conflating the two, take it for the gift it is. You already have an emotional connection, and it’s so rare for you to be in the same headspace as the person you’re attracted to enough to explore the physical side of things. Do youwantmore with JD?”

“God yes,” I said, surprising myself with how fervently I apparently wanted this.

“Okay. Then, for once, get out of your own way and try to enjoy yourself. And be sure to keep me posted.”

I huffed a laugh. She made it sound so simple. But could I get out of my own way? I certainly wanted to. Suddenly I realized my heart no longer felt like it was in my throat, and I smiled to myself. Talking to Alex never failed to put me at ease. Fuck, I missed her. “I’ll try my best.”

“That’s all you can do. Alright, I’ll let you get back to your sexy sergeant. And don’t forget you still owe me details!” I snickered my agreement. “Remember, I’m only ever a call away. Love you, Tulip.”

“You too, Orange Blossom.” The line went silent, and I pocketed my phone. Feeling mostly back on an even keel, I walked back toward the panini joint and immediately burst out laughing at finding JD looking seven kinds of flustered at one of the outdoor tables.

“Don’t laugh,” he grumbled as he shuffled around not two, not three, butfourplates of paninis.

“I get that you’re a giant and all, and soldiers generally have a hearty appetite, but even I have to say this feels a littleexcessive,” I teased as I slid onto the plastic chair beneath the heavy branch of a massive oak tree.

“It’s not my fault. First you shoved money into my pocket andabandonedme. Then everything looked so good, I couldn’t decide. And sure, you’re like a damn goat with what you’re willing to put in your stomach—you damn jalapeño-eating psycho—but that doesn’t mean I know what you actuallylike. I panicked. And did you know this place was featured on the Food Network? TheFood Network, Marc.” He gave me a dead stare that I was positive had made lesser men cower and beg for mercy, and it was taking everything I had not to laugh. “Also, what the actual fuck is a muffuletta?”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Laughter spilled out of me.

His scowl deepened. “I said don’t laugh at me. This is all your fault.” He crossed his arms and transferred his glare to the assortment of plates crowding the small table.

I took him in, frustrated scowl and all, and followed my twin’s sage advice: I let the feelings and the attraction just exist. Rays of sunlight pierced the thick canopy of the oak tree to light up parts of his red hair. His freckles were one hundred percent multiplying. And he was so thoughtful that not only did he make me coffee exactly the way I liked it every single morning, but he’d severely over-compensated ordering lunch to make sure he got something I’d like.

“What?” he huffed, looking at me over his crossed arms.

I smiled at him and wanted to roll around like a pig in mud at how natural it felt. “You’re right. It’s almost impossible to pick just one thing here because all of it is so good, which is why I never do. I meant it when I said you couldn’t go wrong.” I stood and squeezed his shoulder. “Be right back. Whatever you do,don’tfeed the seagulls.”

His gaze darted to one of the winged bastards lurking at the entrance of one of the wide alleyways as if it were going to pulla switchblade. And honestly? It wouldn’t even surprise me if it did. He was still eyeing it and the two others that had joined it suspiciously when I returned with a couple of to-go boxes, a bag, and a knife.

“Trust me?” I asked with a crooked grin.