Page 25 of Hart's Redemption

“True,” he replied with a nod. “That doesn’t change that you’re projecting. Priscilla has shared some of your story with me, with obvious redactions for confidentiality. I was wondering if you’d be willing to tell me the tale of how you and your mate came to this point. Normally. I’d suggested having you project thethoughts to me, but I think in this instance it would be more beneficial to you to tell your story aloud.”

I glanced at Priscilla, at a loss for what to say. This felt increasingly like an ambush. I swallowed thickly and shook my head. “It’s too painful, and much of what I would say is too sensitive to risk being overheard by the wrong people.”

“Which is why I took the liberty of reserving one of the Tea Shoppe’s warded rooms. Got to love the benefits of witch-owned establishments.” Priscilla smiled and signalled to the server making rounds.

Our odd trio followed the server to a room in the back. They flicked on lights and I assumed activated the spell that would keep our conversation private. We waited until all of us had refreshed cups and the server left before resuming the strained conversation.

“I fail to see how recounting everything will help anything, least of all Josh. Which is Why. I’m. Here.” I paused, then took a deep breath. “But if you think it is necessary, fine.”

So I told him. I told him everything–from hooking up with the mystery man at the Bacchanal to learning who Josh really was, even what I’d seen in Josh’s memories and what had happened afterward. By the end, Priscilla looked both horrified and ill. Katori, however, didn’t seem fazed at all.

“There you have it. The whole grisly disaster that has been our relationship since day one. Now, could one of youpleaseexplain to me how to help him?” I finished with a huff.

Sadness pooled in Priscilla’s dark eyes. “I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten.”

“Though it puts many things into perspective,” Kotori added.

“Would someone please tell me what the fuck you two are talking about?” I asked, my patience growing thinner by the second.

Priscilla placed a hand on my knee and leaned forward. “I’m not sure how to tell you this…” Dread punched through chest much like the arrow Josh’s bitch of a mother had shot him with. I didn’t dare say anything and waited with increasing anxiety for the hammer to fall. She took a deep breath and lightly squeezed my leg. “Your mate is displaying the classic symptoms of a rejected bond.”

Cold washed over me as all the blood drained from my face. “What?” I whispered.

Kotori set his empty cup aside. “You’ve also internalized your mate’s trauma, compounding your own.”

“I don’t have trauma,” I replied without looking at him.

“With all due respect, Dr. Bennett, yes, you do. Both from your ordeals before your mate turned and from what you witnessed while searching for his spirit within his mind. Though your adamance on not causing your mate more trauma is admirable, I fear it is causing as much harm.”

I finally looked at him and was surprised to find the depth of compassion in his dark eyes. “Are you saying that because I’m determined not to hurt Josh–the man I love with my entire being, who I’d give up everything for–he believes I don’t want him? That I’mrejectinghim?”

“You have to understand, we’re only seeing this from your perspective, and while rejected mates are incredibly rare, it does happen. I know you don’t want to hear it, but studying the lycan mate bond has been my life’s work. I can confidently say that what you have described matches everything I’ve read and seen in rejected mates.”

I lurched out of my seat, knocking the side table and causing my cup to crash to the carpeted floor and shatter like my hopes of helping Josh. “You’re wrong. I’ve never heard anything more preposterous in my life. Joshknowshow I feel about him. The bond guarantees it. And I will not sit here and be berated forcaring about my mate.” I turned on Kotori. “Even if I do have trauma, I wouldneverput that on Josh. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a couch in a cottage with my name on it and a mate who needs me.”

Without another word, I stormed out of the tea shop. I should have listened to my gut when I’d been reticent to leave Josh alone at the cottage. Now all I could do was hope he was still there.

Josh

I wasn’t sure what was more pathetic: that I was sneaking around Elijah’s house or that I’d waited thirty minutes after he’d left to venture out of the guest room. And because my life wasn’t shit enough, my “condition” amplified the feeling. I hated it. Hated that I felt like I needed to hide from the man I loved. Hated that I wasn’t in control of my emotions. And Ihatedhow desperately I wanted a coffee from Hair of the Dog when I knew caffeine would exacerbate my current manic state.

Clearly the sedatives weren’t cutting it. Hence my request for a holomed appointment at two in the morning. Not that I expected Dr. Lyons to be available at that time, but at least the request would be top of the list. Or I thought it would have. Obviously not, since my confirmation had the appointment scheduled for five in the afternoon.

I peered out the front window to ensure Elijah wasn’t walking up the steps. While his note stuck to my door, letting me know he’d be out for a bit and instructing me to call if I needed anything, would have been thoughtful if it hadn’t also pissed me the hell off. Really? He couldn’t even be bothered to tell me himself?

It shouldn’t have surprised me–I knew the score, now more than ever. That alone made my stomach unsteady and left a vile taste in my mouth. Yes, the man I loved, the one I was completely over the moon for, loved me as well—he just didn’t want to.

I stumbled down the hall toward the kitchen. Yet, despite the hunger gnawing at my belly, I couldn’t bring myself to eat more than a couple of bites from one of the dozens of boxed leftovers lining the refrigerator shelves. Giving it up as the lost cause it was, I cleaned and put away all the evidence that I’d been there and leaned against the island. Leaving would have made the most sense. I could retreat to my family estate in upstate Washington, where I could have a private physician come to me instead of the other way around.

Except I already knew how much leaving would hurt Elijah… would hurt me. Not that I planned on telling him I’d tested the effect of distance on the bond for myself. I’d made it as far as the state line before the bond had tightened like a taut cord and my promise not to intentionally harm Elijah without provocation pulled me back to the cottage. It had been fortunate that my little experiment hadn’t woken Elijah, especially since he’d yet to stop acting like my personal jailer.

I scrubbed my hands over my face as I did the calculations for how much longer my “impressive medical policy” would keep me protected from anyone searching for me. The magic that kept me hidden during recovery might be potent, but even it had its limits. Hidden or not, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go on like this. I was intelligent enough not to double or triple my sedatives. However, my ability to wait the recommended time between re-administering had drastically shrunk.

I stared at the single dose that remained. I’d intended to save it for my holo-med appointment so I could at least appear calmwhen I spoke with Dr. Lyons, but that was another two hours away and I felt like I was crawling out of my skin.

A small beep in my ear signalled an incoming call. It wasn’t on my encrypted line, so I was fairly confident it wasn’t Elijah. I cautiously accepted the call and prepared to cut the connection.

“Detective Hart? Are you there?” Dr. Lyon’s familiar voice filled my ears. I immediately straightened up and made a beeline for the guest room.