Page 84 of Darkness Defined

“I lost. It’s not a big deal.” This time, he succeeded in straightening, but remained seated. He snatched the tequila from the table and took a swig directly from the bottle. Small wonder he was three sheets to the wind.

“Lost what? A fight? When were you in a fight? How many fights have you been in? That doesn’t look like one fight, Matt. How often are you getting into fights?” And how many times could I say fight in ten seconds?

He squinted at me, confusion evident on his bruised face. “Where did you think I went every Tuesday and Thursday?”

“I don’t know.” I threw up my hands. “Hanging out with your friends. WHy the hell would I think you were fighting?”

His gaze dropped to the floor. “I do hang out with friends… sometimes… after.”

Anger that rivaled how furious I’d been when I’d discovered Daniel had cheated on me burned in my veins. I’d been literally sick with worry and he was voluntarily traipsing off to get his ass handed to him?

Matt must’ve recognized the mounting rage on my face, because he rose to his feet, holding onto the back of the chair for balance. “Look, can we talk about this later?” He took a shaky step and stopped when I blocked the way. “Unless you’re planning on joining me while I pretend to take a shower, you’ll have to excuse me.”

I quietly fumed as he slowly made his way around me and hobbled towards his room. No matter how I felt, there was no point in trying to talk to him in his current state. Days of worrying about what was going on and this is what I came back to? If he wasn’t already such a disaster, I’d have throttled him myself. I glared at what remained of the tequila. Without a second thought, I dumped it out and trashed the bottle. Then I yanked the chair Matt had been sitting on around so I could watch his door. I didn’t know how long he’d be gone, but I’d be damned if I wouldn’t be ready to give him an earful when he reemerged.

I stopped watching the clock as yet another hour crawled by. Three cups of coffee in and I was wired. There wasn’t a chance I’d fall asleep this time and miss him. Even after several hours of waiting, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say to him. All of my rehearsed conversations from Friday night were distant compared to the anger that refused to abate. Fighting regularly? I couldn’t fucking believe it. And I hadn’t had so much as a clue until now. Livid didn’t come close, and I didn’t even know which part made me the angriest.

Matt’s door slowly swung inward, and he made his way into the living room. His eyes sought me out right away, and while decidedly uncertain, at least they were clear now.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, doing what I could to maintain some level of calm.

He swallowed and darted an anxious look at me, like he’d caught the edge I was trying to hide. “Better.”

“Still drunk?” I didn’t bother to temper my clipped tone.

He winced. “No. Alex, I—”

“Are you out of your damn mind! Fighting on campus? Do you have any idea what the school would do to you if they found out?”

“It wasn’t on campus. It’s not for that reason.”

That he already knew about the consequences somehow infuriated me more. “You can’t be serious. So, this is like a real thing? You just traipse off every Tuesday and Thursday to some… some… bruiser club.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset. It’s not like you got your ass beat to a pulp,” he snapped.

I gawped at him. “Upset? I’m not upset, Matt. I’m way past upset. How could you not tell me?”

“Why would I? It had nothing to do with you.”

“Because I’m supposed to be your best friend! That’s the sort of thing you share.”

His face crumpled. “I didn’t think.”

His obvious hurt pained me, but I pushed it aside. I was hurt too, and I felt used, something I’d never expected to feel from Matt. “Of course not. You’re just off in your own world and I’m collateral to use whenever it’s convenient.”

He took a step toward me. “That’s not true.”

“Where have you been the last few days? Have you been fighting the whole time?”

He shook his head, then seemed to regret the move. “No. I was in the library.”

“Why?” I didn’t bother to hide my disbelief.

“I needed somewhere to figure things out, and I lost track of time.”

“For four days? You can’t expect me to believe that.” I crossed my arms and fought the urge to clench my jaw. “Did you at least figure out whatever apparently required absolute solitude?”

He shuffled his feet like he did any time he was anxious. “Sort of. I found something about the research project. I was coming back to show you when—” He took a step towards his discarded bag.