Page 81 of Darkness Defined

My eyes sought the link again. There had to be more. I scanned the page repeatedly until, at last, I found a reference for the symbol in a footnote. The chair almost toppled to the ground as I launched out of it to go find the matching reference, earning me a reprising look from the librarian. I was pretty sure if the library had hours, she would’ve kicked me out by now. Yet I was the only one there and it was pointless to exact wrath on one lowly student. I gave her my best smile and continued on my way.

Quest accomplished, I took the book back to my ridiculous display of notes. The chair screeched against the floor and I flinched at the harsh sound. It felt like days since I’d heard anything above a whisper. But no way could I leave now. I was on the verge of a breakthrough. I could feel it. The matching reference book turned out to be a compilation of symbols and coats of arms. I scoured images until I found the one I was looking for.

If I’d thought the Denai family was old, these guys put them to shame. There was no family name listed though, just a translation of the coat and their creed. The Order of Light: Where there is darkness, there is light, and the light will prevail. It sounded similar to what Alex had said to me at the start of school, except it was all backwards. There is always shadow: where there is light, there is darkness.

It was fitting, really. The light that battles the darkness, the darkness that tempts the light. Which reminded me of my earlier thought. If there was a connection listed between a Shadow Demon and a supposed knight of this order, had anything come of it?

Like so much of demon genealogy, it was difficult to determine the path, but at last I found what I was searching for—they had a child. I gasped so loud it echoed back at me. The librarian appeared around a corner and gave me a scathing look. I offered her a sheepish smile and sank into my seat, my gaze once more fixed on my miraculous discovery. Alex was going to lose his shit.

At the thought of seeing him again, my chest tightened. I couldn’t face him, not after what I’d done. Mortified didn’t even come close. I needed more time. Now that I’d got my mind off of things for a little while, I could tackle how to go about apologizing to Alex and making sense of why I wanted to kiss him until I passed out.

I scrawled down the information from each book, including relevant passages and page numbers. He’d kill me if we couldn’t ever find the information again. Then I set about putting them all back on their appropriate return carts.

When I was done, I glanced out the large window. Bright rays of morning light pierced the tall windows to create a stunning rainbow of color. Was it possible I’d only been here twenty-four hours? It felt like so much longer. I considered asking the librarian exactly how much time had passed, but dismissed it. I’d caused enough ruckus in her domain already. Besides, it couldn’t possibly be all that long, right?

The cheery chirps of birds and the soft babble of morning people replaced the quiet hush of the library. Besides the fact that I wasn’t sure how much time had passed since I’d last slept, I definitely did not qualify as a morning person. Upside, at least my head had stopped hurting. I made a beeline for the cafeteria, grateful that I’d remembered to pack my dining card. However, no one had ever mentioned how much was on it or if it expired with the summer semester.

I held my breath as the cashier slid the card and eyed my outrageous pile of food. To be fair, it was a lot. I thought I’d gotten better over the last few months about not eating like it might be the last thing I’d have in a while, but once I’d started grabbing things, I hadn’t been able to stop. It could have been because I was legit ravenous… or it could have been another excuse to put off returning to the dorm. Either way, I wasn’t leaving until every bite of my meal was gone.

It was well past noon by the time I popped my last bite and ventured back outside. Even after all the stalling though, I still couldn’t figure out what to say to Alex. I’m sorry didn’t really seem like enough. I tightened the straps of my bookbag with all its treasures. Maybe distracting him with my mind-blowing discovery would help soften him up.

Or… I could kiss him.

Like karma for the renegade thought, something hooked my book bag and yanked me backward. “Hey! What the—” The angry retort died as my gaze fell on the blue iridescent scales shining in the sunlight.

Neese gave me a toothy smile. “Otto said I might find you here. You sure eat a lot for a scrawny thing.”

“Who are you calling scrawny?” I snarled, jerking my backpack to no avail.

“Easy there, runt.” He scowled and lowered his voice to a sinister hiss that made my spine crawl. “There’s a fight tonight. You in?”

Judging by his tone and the scary look he was giving me, it wasn’t so much a request as a demand. Suddenly, I regretted wasting so much time. If I hadn’t of been such a coward, I would’ve already been in the dorm. Now I’d have to wait even longer to see Alex, to tell him what I found… to tell him how sorry I was for everything.

I nodded, and Neese finally released my backpack. He stepped to the side so we could walk next to each other. Clearly, he didn’t trust that I wouldn’t make a break for it. If I had any measure of faith in my shadow walking abilities, I wouldn’t have hesitated. But I wasn’t Alex. Guilt stabbed at me. Just how long had I been gone? My optimistic belief that it had only been a full day and night seemed unlikely now.

I cleared my throat and glanced at Neese out of the corner of my eye. He may have had two legs, but it still looked like he was slithering. “I thought the fights weren’t starting until next week.”

He stopped and stared at me. “What day do you think it is?”

I frowned, but kept my peace.

Neese shook his head and let out a hissing laugh. “You must’ve raged pretty hard after finals to lose a whole day.”

I let out a breath of relief. I’d been right. Only a day. Well, two now.

“Today is just for members. Thursday we’ll bring in the fresh meat.” He waved a dismissive taloned hand and resumed walking.

My steps faltered. “What? I thought you said it was only Saturday.”

“Saturday? Oh man, you did hit it hard. I’ve done a lot of wild shit, but I can’t ever say I lost three days.” He gave me a skeptical look, but didn’t stop.

I groaned. Alex was going to be pissed. I didn’t know how to explain one night. How the hell was I supposed to explain three days?

“I hope you enjoyed your siesta, because you’re in it now.” Neese opened the door to the warehouse without a password. Then he pulled me through.

The club was absolute chaos. Otto must have been riling everyone up while Neese tracked down renegade members. Noise buffeted my ears, a stark contrast to the quiet I’d apparently been living in for the past few days. My thoughts from before about needing a fight to clear my head vanished. I didn’t want to be here, and I didn’t want to do this. I needed to talk to Alex.

“Yeah, Neese, this is great and all,” I took a tentative step back toward the exit, “but I really gotta get going.”