Page 89 of Carter

“Because you pay for everything else.”

“Just trust me, okay? It’s fine. Just… make sure you call him and check on him, okay?”

“I always do,” I say.

Just not enough.

“Yeah, you do. Miles and I were thinking you should come up this summer.”

“I just got here. I can’t take time off work yet.”

He sighs. “Nash—”

“What?”

“Never mind. Just think about it. I’ll call you later.”

I end the call and put my phone on the end table instead of trying to get it back into my pocket.

“Everything okay?” Carter asks.

“Hollis is going into treatment again, which means he relapsed. I haven’t talked to him lately, so I can’t be sure how long he was using for.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, we do this a lot. He tries really hard to stay clean, but then something happens and he just… can’t.”

“You all went through something tragic. It’s affected you all in different ways.”

“Yeah,” I agree. “Everyone reacts differently. Just sucks.”

Carter seems to think about something for a moment before he speaks.

“Sometimes I’m grateful I don’t have any siblings or parents that I’m close with. The worrying is…”

“It’s a lot,” I finish for him.

“Is that wrong? Like, is it cruel to think that way?” The look on his face is almost fearful, like I may tell him he’s a terrible person.

“No, I think it’s valid.”

He kisses me, letting it linger before resting his forehead against mine for another long moment.

“Let’s eat,” he finally says.

Carter doesn’t have a dining table—there’s no room for it, unless he didn’t want a living room. There are two stools at theisland though, so I grab us each a beer and sit while he dishes up the food. It’s still steaming when he sets the plate in front of me.

“I should have made garlic bread too,” he says.

“Trying to one-up me?” I question.

“Maybe.” He smirks.

The food is still too hot to eat, so we sip our beer and talk about our day. Mostly him telling me about how much fun he had with the schools visiting.

“Have you ever thought about having kids?” he asks.

It’s a casual question, not one that makes me feel pressured or worried like he’s asking me if I want kids with him right now. I don’t feel that way when I’m with him. It truly just sounds like he’s curious and is trying to make conversation.