Page 121 of Carter

“What the hell for?” he asks.

A few people look around, concerned. I frown.

“Excuse me?” I say, then look at Tim, who is watching us both carefully. He’ll intervene if he has to.

“Say he quits tomorrow. Stays home for the rest of his days. Does that mean he’s going to live to be a hundred?” Logan says.

“No…”

“Then what are you protecting yourself from? His job isn’t the problem, Carter,” Logan says. “You’ve already learned the hard way that life isn’t guaranteed. And because of that, you’re scared.”

A few people nod in agreement.

“Of course I’m scared,” I say. “Who the hell wouldn’t be?”

“And it’s okay to be scared,” Tim adds. “But what I think Logan is trying to get at is that you shouldn’t stop yourself from living because you’re afraid of losing something.”

“Orsomeone,” Kane adds, winking at me.

Pieces of my heart start to shatter and I have no fucking idea how I’ll ever put them back together again.

“You can’t protect the people you love from life,” Logan says. “I think a lot of us know that. All you can do is love them while they’re here.”

I sleep like shit Friday night and call Winward Saturday morning to tell them I won’t be in because I’m sick. I’m not, but I’m not capable of helping anyone today—not even the animals. So I stay in bed and sleep until late afternoon.

It’s my phone ringing that wakes me.

Heather.

“Hi, Carter, how are you?” she asks.

“I’m okay. Is everything alright?”

“I should ask you that.”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry, that probably sounds strange. I just had this feeling that I should call. Are you busy today? Do you want to come see Teddy? I think Ryan could use some company too.”

I have no idea what to say to her, so I keep quiet.

“Carter?”

“I’m here, sorry. What did you say?”

She lets out a little huff of a laugh. “Do you want to come by? I think you need it.”

“How do you know that?”

“Call it a mother’s intuition. Anthony is in the city if you want a ride.”

“I can’t… Heather, this is…”

“It’s fine, Carter. Trust me, you’re doing us a favor. Ryan had so much fun with you last time. He really does like visitors, and I wasn’t lying when I said we don’t get many.”

I sigh, looking up at the ceiling. Why is everyone so nice?

“Okay, sure. But I’ll Uber.”