Page 5 of Play For Me

“Pass,” I say immediately. “Hard pass.”

“Sol, man, come on. You like her. You stare at her every time you’re in the same room.”

“She doesn’t know I exist,” I point out.

He rolls his eyes. “Hence the calling her over here and introducing you.”

I let myself imagine it for a moment—what it would be like to look at her up close. To talk to her. To maybe see if I could get her to laugh like her cousin just did, loud and easy and self-assured. So beautiful.

And that stops the train of thought immediately. In what universe wouldImake Cecelia Ransome laugh? If I let Jay bring her over here there’s no question what would happen— I’d screw it up. My throat would freeze up, as it so often does when I’m uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be able to get more than a few words out. Or, even worse, the nerves would get so bad that I’d blurt out something completely ridiculous or inappropriate.

No. Cecelia is definitely the kind of girl I’d rather admire from afar.

“Dude, you’re selling yourself short,” Jay continues.

“Shocker,” Em mutters, and I flick the side of her jean-clad thigh.

“I bet CeCe would totally go for that silent, broody thing you always do to get girls,” Jay continues.

I don’t bother to respond to that. Girlsdoseem to like how quiet I am, if my track record is anything to go by. But that only lasts for a night or two. Eventually they figure out that I’m not the strong, stoic romantic hero they’re imagining. Eventually they figure out it’s not just that I don’t enjoy talking, it’s thatI very often physically can’t. The way Ireallyam isn’t actually attractive to them, and it doesn’t take them long to catch on.

So I stick to one-night stands, when I feel like sex. I’m polite to the girls who invite me to their beds. I don’t lie or try to deceive them in any way. They know up front that I won’t be spending the night and that I probably won’t call.

And yeah, I get lonely sometimes, but I guess a one-night stand is better than nothing.

Not with Cecelia, though. I wouldn’t want just one night with her. I wouldn’t want to pretend like my silence and aloofness make me mysterious and interesting. I wouldn’t want to pretend at all. And there’s no way the woman currently bouncing around the living room at this crowded party like no one is watching would ever like who I really am.

My view of her is interrupted when a figure steps in front of me. He’s tall and lanky, wearing ripped up jeans and a leather jacket. Something about his carefully tousled hair gives me a wannabe rocker vibe.

He’s also very clearly wasted, if the way he’s swaying on his feet is any indication.

One of Cecelia’s cousins dances by, and he reaches out to grab her arm. “Vi, baby, can we please just talk?”

So I guess that one is Violet. I’ve never talked to her, either, but her twin brother is in my poetry seminar. He doesn’t really seem to fit with the rest of them—the other Ransomes at this school are loud and boisterous, always the center of attention, while Ash is quiet. Withdrawn even. A damn good writer, though.

I stop thinking about her brother pretty quickly when Violet tries to yank her arm out of the drunk guy’s grasp. I can’t see her expression, the guy is blocking her, but she’s pretty clearly attempting to get away from him. Whatever she says makes him take another step closer, leaning down to get in her face.

Jay and I stand at the same time. I’m not sure exactly what’s going on here, but I don’t like the way he’s gripping her arm when she obviously doesn’t want him to. Over his shoulder, I see her head twisting this way and that, like she’s looking for someone. Her cousins, I would bet.

“Hey, man,” Jay says, moving to get in between them. “I think you better step back.”

Drunk Guy turns and glares at us with red-rimmed eyes. “Fuck off.”

“We will,” I say evenly. “After you let her go.”

Violet uses the opportunity of us distracting him to yank her arm again, and this time he lets go, stumbling a little as his balance is thrown off.

“Come on,” Jay says, nudging Violet behind him and reaching for Drunk Guy’s shoulder. “Let’s take a walk. Cool off.”

“Fuck you,” the guy slurs, then belches loudly.

Jay rolls his eyes. “Charming. How about this—get your ass out of this party before I physically remove you myself.”

“Like you even could. ‘Mm bigger n’ you anyhow.”

“Yeah, but you’re not bigger than my friend there.” The guy turns, his eyes widening a little at the sight of me at full height. I don’t move, just stare him down.

Luckily, he doesn’t seem to be drunk enough to think he could take both of us on. He steps back but turns his attention to Violet again. “You’re not some big loss you know,” he spits. “I was just fucking you ’cause I wanted you to introduce me to your dad.”