Page 133 of Play For Me

My head snaps up. Solomon is standing in front of the door, looking as calm and steady as ever, his eyes locked on mine.

“Great,” I mutter, my head going back to my hands. I laugh bitterly, the sound more like a sob. “Just fucking great.”

“Hey.” He closes the door behind him and comes over to me, squatting in front of the cabinet. “What’s going on with you?”

I look up, incredulous. “Are you serious right now?”

He gives me a sheepish half-smile. “Well, obviously, you’re sucking ass, but I didn’t want to come out and say that.”

I’m torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry. I thought the last thing I needed was a pep talk, but somehow, Solomon Barnes teasing me is so much worse.

“Is it your knee?” he asks, looking down at my leg. “Are you having pain?”

“No,” I mutter. “Feels fine.”

He gives me a ghost of a grin. “I’ve heard that from you before.”

“Yeah, well, this time it’s true. I’m not having any pain.”

He studies my face. “You’re freaked out about it, though,” he says.

I have to look away. It’s pointless to tell him no, but I feel vulnerable sitting here in front of this man who hurt me so badly. I can’t make myself say the words.

“Why are you even here?” I ask, still not looking at him. “I thought you were done with the team.” There’s no way to hide the bitterness in my voice. I don’t even try.

“Just because my clinicals are done doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to watch you play.” He pauses. “I was sitting with your parents. I figured you saw me up there.”

That gets my attention. “You were sitting with my parents?”

He shrugs. “Your mom saw me sitting with Jay. She asked us to come join them.” He watches me. “Does that bother you?”

No. It makes me want to cry my eyes out.

“I don’t understand why you showed up for the game,” I tell him. “You clearly find it too difficult to be around me.”

His expression shifts, surprise taking over his features. “I don’t find it difficult to be around you.”

I throw my arms out. “You quit the team. Before the tournament. You didn’t even want to stick around to see if I could?—”

I cut myself off because I really think I’m going to cry now, and I don’t want to do that in front of him.

“Cecelia,” he murmurs, his voice soft. “I left because I thought it was difficult foryou.” I stare at him, not expecting that. “I know how hard you were working to come back afteryour injury, and I know how much I hurt you. I didn’t want to be a distraction.” He gives me a sad half-smile. “I figured you wouldn’t want me around after all that.”

The band of tension that’s been squeezing my chest the entire game suddenly snaps, but it doesn’t bring any relief. Instead, a sob comes from deep within me and before I can do a thing to stop it, tears are filling my eyes.

“Hey,” he says, looking panicked. “Don’t cry, Cecelia. It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s not,” I sob, wiping desperately at my eyes. “Nothing is okay.”

Suddenly, his hands are on my face, cradling my cheeks and wiping the tears for me. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, sounding wrecked. “I messed it all up for you.”

I don’t care if it makes me weak—I reach up and grip his wrists, desperate to touch any part of him.

“You were my horses, Solomon,” I say, crying harder.

He tilts his head, studying me. “Your…horses?”

“Like at the ranch. You told me I needed to find something to center me, like you felt centered when you were with your horses. That was you. You were the thing that centered me.” I can’t bite back my sob. “So what am I supposed to do now that you left me?”