Page 33 of Wish For Me

I think about that while she tells the other moms about her trip—apparently Uncle Lennon surprised her the last day by flying into New York just so he could fly here to Tennessee with her and keep her company on the plane. It must be hard for her, all that travel. There have been several times over the years where Intrigue has taken extended hiatuses just so they didn’t have to be on the road so much. But they always end up getting antsy and tour again after a few years. Itchy feet, my mom calls it.

“You look like you’re deep in thought, Rosie,” she says, and I look around with a start, realizing that the other moms have moved on to some other conversation, leaving just me and Aunt Haylee. “Everything okay?”

“Do you ever feel like you’re missing out?” I blurt, then immediately want to take it back. My Aunt Haylee is pretty darn difficult to rattle, but I wouldn’t ever want to be rude to her. And the question that just burst from me sounds an awful lot like I’m criticizing her.

She just looks at me with steady eyes. “What do you mean?”

“With the family. Because of all the travel. Do you…I don’t know. Is it hard to get back into the swing of things around here when you’ve been gone?”

“Sometimes,” she says. “Especially after a longer trip. It sort of feels like being plopped into the middle of a movie that I missed a few scenes of, if that makes sense.” She runs her hand over my arm, her touch gentle and soothing. “But it only lasts a few days. This family has a way of drawing everyone in, you know.”

I nod, feeling a lump in my throat.

“And sometimes,” she continues, her voice more careful. “I feel some guilt about being gone. Especially with my own kids. You know Lennon and I always alternate our travel or bring them with us, so they’re not ever alone. But it feels like shit when I have to miss something big.”

I just nod again, too emotional to speak.

“You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I just…it’s hard to…I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of life I want.”

She nods. “That’s good. Lots of people just float through and never give it much thought.”

“But what if you have two totally different options in front of you?” I ask. “How are you supposed to know which one is right?”

She studies me. “Well, first I would probably think about whether or not I could have both. Just because two things are different doesn’t mean they’re diametrically opposed. Having one thing doesn’t mean you can never have the other.”

“I guess.”

“Let’s say, for instance, a young lady, just a few years into her marriage, is wondering whether she wants to start having kids like several of her cousins. Or whether, instead, she might like to travel and work somewhere different and have a few adventures. That young lady should know that it’s not either or. She could do both.”

My mouth drops open. “How the hell did you know?”

“Sweetie, we all know,” Sam cuts in, and I realize that my mom and aunts are all listening to us now. Sam smiles. “You really need to stop leaving your computer tabs open at the office when you’ve been researching apartments in Singapore.”

“Oh.” Well, shit. I’m always so busy at work I guess I haven’t been as careful as I thought. Sometimes I don’t think about the fact that Samantha Warner Ransome, my amazing boss, is also my aunt.

“Also, Leo slipped and mentioned it to Bodhi,” Paige says. “And you know that boy can’t keep a secret to save his life.”

“So you all know?”

Jasmine winces. “River told me a week ago.”

I cast a worried glance at my mom and her green-eyed gaze holds mine. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was waiting for you to come to me,” she says. “I figured you had some working through on your own to do.”

I swallow. “Does Dad know?”

“Not yet.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

She makes a face. “Hell no. That man is going to cry like a little baby. That’s all on you, girl.”

I scowl at her and my aunts laugh.

“You’re talking like it’s a done deal,” I point out.