Page 71 of Shine For Me

I want to ask her why she didn’t do something with her degree, since books seem to make her way happier than movies, but I have a feeling that’s not a subject she wants to broach tonight.

“So that’s what you would do if you took time off,” I suggest. “You could sit and read all day.”

She releases a little moan of longing and I laugh. “Clearly that sounds like something you’d be interested in.”

“I wonder if I could make it work,” she says softly. “It would be cool if we were both off at the same time.”

I think about four months off with June. Taking the time to do all those things we tried to shove into our minuscule amount of free time during filming. Maybe going away somewhere—like to a beach house where we actually had time to spend on the beach.

“Yeah,” I agree. “Definitely cool.”

“Do you know that quote about being afraid?” she asks. “About the things you want being—”

“On the other side of your fear,” I finish. “My Uncle Lennon has that quote tattooed on his shoulder.”

“I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately,” she continues. “Like…like there’s this whole life I could have if I could just figure out how to stop being so scared.” She shifts in my arms. “That probably sounds silly—”

“It doesn’t sound silly at all.” It does sound heartbreakingly sad, though. Because I know a huge part of her fear comes from the people who are supposed to love her the most. “You’re strong enough to get the life you want, June. Whatever it is. And you deserve to have it. You know that, right?”

Before she can respond, my phone dings in my pocket. Then it dings again. And again.

“Group thread?” June asks.

“Group thread,” I agree, reaching for my phone to silence it.

“You can check it,” June says. “I like hearing what your cousins are up to.”

I have a feeling she just wants to change the subject, but I let it go. I’m learning that sometimes June needs some time to process the bigger stuff.

“Hmm, not the full cousin’s group thread,” I say, looking at the screen. At any given time there are about half a dozen group chats going on in my phone. There’s a thread with all of the cousins, a thread with just my siblings, a thread with just the older kids…I glance over the names at the top of the screen and scoff. “This is just the younger kids. I don’t know if I should be flattered that they included me or annoyed that they don’t think of me as part of the older contingent.”

“Poor Fox,” June says. “Always the middle child.”

“It looks like Vega and Cecelia are pissed about something,” I say, then read the messages on the screen out loud to June.

Vega:Can anyone else believe this bullshit?

CeCe:Total bullshit!

Vega:Everly is my sister. If anyone goes to look at venues it should be me.

Santana:It should be me, actually. Since I’m also her sister and two years older than you.

“Wedding planning drama?” June asks.

“Reed and Paige’s girls will make drama out of anything.”

Another text comes through.

Vega:Fox, do you know about this bullshit?

CeCe:TOTAL bullshit!

Before I can answer, my phone rings, my brother’s face appearing on the screen. I roll my eyes at June before answering.

“Hey, Riv. Why are the Littles blowing up my phone about wedding venues?”

He makes a disbelieving noise. “We haven’t even booked the tickets yet! How in the hell do they even know about it?”