Page 52 of Shine For Me

Fox

It takes forever for my heart rate to get back to normal, and even then, I still feel like I can’t catch my breath. I felt that way pretty much every second since I sat out there on June’s couch with her a few nights ago and promised her I’d help her be brave.

I have to laugh to myself—I think what we just did definitely qualifies as progress.

“What’s funny?” she asks in this husky, satisfied voice that has me hardening again, somehow.

“Just thinking about our bravery pact.”

She laughs softly, the sound flowing across my skin like warm honey. I’m pretty sure June laughing like that, while naked in bed with me, is the best sound I’ve ever heard.

I roll onto my side so I can see her face. She has her hands tucked up under her cheek, her head resting on the pillow, and my chest constricts at the sight. This is how I imagined her falling asleep that day I looked for her glasses in this bed. I take in a deep breath, all that soft powdery goodness washing over me.

“You okay?”

She smiles, a little shy, and nods. “Did you know that was going to happen when you came up here?” she asks.

“I hoped it would.” She shakes her head, eyes wide. “What? Why is that surprising to you?”

“I just…I didn’t think you were into me like that.”

I make a scoffing sound. “A man would have to be insane not to be into you like that.” I reach out to play with a strand of her hair. “That feeling I had on set—it was like a panic, almost. Like I had to get to you, I had to be with you, or something awful was going to happen.” I feel a little silly admitting that, but June gives me another of those shy smiles and I decide then and there I’ll embarrass myself a million times over if it makes her smile like that.

“I felt the same way,” she says. “I couldn’t calm down. I was just pacing around the suite. It felt like I was going to come out of my skin.”

I grin, gratified beyond belief that she was as affected as me. “Next time you feel like that, call me, okay? I’ll help.”

She stiffens, that blissed out, contended expression fading from her face. A shot of fear goes through me. “What’s wrong? Did I say—”

“No.” She places her hands against my chest and even with the worry I’m now feeling I can’t help but think of how good it feels to have her touch me like this. “Everything is fine.”

But she’s rolling away from me, like she’s about to get off the bed, and I don’t like that at all. “June.”

“Bathroom,” she says brightly, not meeting my eyes. But she doesn’t cover up when she walks to the bathroom door, and I take that as a good thing. If she was regretting what happened, she wouldn’t walk around naked in front of me, right?

When she comes out a few minutes later, she almost looks surprised to see me still lying there. Something cold slithers into my belly. Does she want me to go?

“Come here,” I say, hoping she can’t hear the desperation in my voice. The idea that what just happened might have screwed something up between us makes me feel sick.

She comes right back to the bed, crawling under the covers with me, and I pull her into my arms, taking in deep lungfuls of her powdery scent while I try to calm down. “I feel like your brain is going a mile a minute,” I tell her.

She sighs. “Maybe a little.”

“You want to share some of those big thoughts?”

She’s quiet for a long moment, her face buried in my chest. “I really don’t want to screw up our friendship.”

Friendship. That word shouldn’t sting so badly. That’s what we are, right? It’s what we’ve always been. And now we’re…friends who had sex one time? Jesus, I don’t like the sound of that.

“Now you’re the one hiding big thoughts,” she says.

“I don’t want to screw anything up, either, June.”

She relaxes in my arms a little. “Okay, good. Then nothing has to change.”

My heart constricts so painfully it’s a wonder I don’t gasp. There’s a difference betweenscrewing things upandnothing changing.Right? “Is that what you want?” I ask, my voice rough. “For nothing to change?”

“If it’s between that and losing you, then yes, Fox. I want nothing to change.”