Page 49 of Shine For Me

And through all of it, I keep my gaze locked on Fox. I don’t think about the lights overhead. I don’t think about the people just out of sight. I don’t think about the fact that this is being captured on film and our bodies will be displayed on huge movie screens around the world. I just focus on him. The sight of his big hand on my hip. The feel of his smooth neck pressed against mine. The sound of his breath when he kisses me.

And his eyes. Those beautiful, intense blue eyes always locked on mine. It’s impossible to look away from him, impossible to think about anything except for Fox and his nearness.

In every interview I’ve ever given about shooting love scenes, I say the exact same thing. They’re not actually romantic on set. They’re clinical. Awkward. A highly choreographed dance between two actors and a handful of crew members. And all of that is true. That’s how every love scene I’ve ever shot has felt.

Until today.

“I think we’re good,” Rick, the second director, calls. He sounds distinctly surprised. I’m surprised, too. That went way faster than these things usually do.

“Wow, you guys,” the intimacy coordinator says as Fox and I stand, a pair of PAs hurrying forward to wrap us in robes. “That was impressive.”

“Crazy chemistry,” Rick agrees, shaking his head. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything like it.”

My cheeks flush, and I don’t think it has anything to do with the praise. I find I have to look away from Fox for the first time since the scene started and it’s…weird. The little bubble we’ve been in this whole time breaks so suddenly I feel off-balanced. Awareness shoots through me as the spell shatters. Right—we’re on set. There are lots of people around. Lights. Cameras.

“You okay?” Cassie, my PA asks, holding out a cup of water with a straw. I take a deep but careful sip, not wanting to mess up my makeup in case they want another shot. While I drink, I try to get my rioting emotions under control. “I’m fine,” I tell her when I’m finished. “Thanks for the water.”

I look over to see Rick and the cinematographer huddled together, looking at a monitor. Probably trying to decide if they need anything else from us. I have a feeling that Gabe would never wrap a scene after this little time, no matter how good the takes were. They’re probably wondering whether he’ll be pissed. Everyone else mills around, waiting to see if they want more.

“There’s no way they’ll make you go again,” Cassie says. “Seriously, June. That was fire.” She waves a hand around her face. “I almost forgot I was watching actors.”

“Great,” I say in a squeaky voice, wishing she would be quiet. Fox is standing right there. And even though a few minutes ago we were as close as we’d ever been—physically, at least—right now I’m pretty sure I’ll burst into flames if I have to look at him.

“Alright, guys, we’re gonna wrap there for the day,” Rick calls out. “Really good work, you two.”

The skeleton crew allowed on set for the scene breaks into applause, which only makes my blush burn hotter. Fox gives a little wave to everyone but I don’t look at his face to see if he’s smirking or embarrassed.

Is it possible I’m the only one feeling like this? Maybe to him that scene felt the same way all our others have.

Fox starts talking to Rick and I know the professional thing to do would be to join them. But I just can’t make myself stand there next to him for another second.

So much for working on your bravery,I think to myself as I flee the soundstage.

* * *

I still don’t feel betterwhen I get to my suite an hour later. Washing off my stage makeup and changing into my street clothes seemed to take forever. I was terrified Fox was going to show up at any minute and suggest we ride back to the hotel together. Being in the enclosed space of a hired car sounded incredibly dangerous.

Luckily, I made it back without seeing him. And now I’m pacing my suite, wondering what in the hell I’m supposed to do.

I’ve had a crush on Fox Ransome pretty much since the day we met. At first I thought it was just a harmless acknowledgment of his attractiveness. I was, after all, happily engaged at the time—this was pre-finding-my-fiancé-in-bed-with-another-woman.

When things fell apart with Adam and Fox and I started spending more and more time together, both on set and off, the crush grew into something bigger. It wasn’t just his good looks I was into—it was the whole package. Fox, the hard-working, humble, kind movie star, so rare in this business.

But however I felt about him over the last two years, I managed to keep it in check. He doesn’t date actresses. The world still thinks I’m engaged. And even if those two things weren’t true, we still wouldn’t be a good fit. We’re both too focused on our careers. Too busy. Hollywood relationships rarely work out, for good reason—the travel, the paparazzi, the competing egos. We would be a disaster. And the idea of losing his friendship because we tried for more and failed is too awful to think about.

And what about staying friends with him while you pretend you don’t have feelings?a voice in my head asks.Will that be easy?

Just because I’ve managed to ignore these feelings for so long, doesn’t mean I’ll be able to do it forever. Not when it keeps getting stronger. Not when he invites me to family parties. Not when he plans a day out to get me away from my problems. Not when he looks at me the way he was on set today.

Acting, I remind myself. It was just acting. There’s no way Fox feels anything more than friendship for me and—

A knock on the door to my suite makes me jump, startling me from the incessant spinning thoughts. For some reason, my heart starts pounding as I walk to the door.Probably just housekeeping or—I yelp when I look through the peephole and see who’s standing there. Then I slap a hand over my mouth, mortified that he might have heard me.

What is he doing here?I ask myself, the pounding in my chest increasing ten-fold. Why would he—

“You know I heard you, right, June?” he calls through the door, and I close my eyes, feeling ridiculous.

He’s your friend,I tell myself as I reach for the dead bolt.There’s no reason to be freaking out.