Page 113 of Shine For Me

June

Camera flashes go off all around us but the noise of the crowd is dampened inside the car. Across from me, my date looks gorgeous in his custom suit.

“You nervous?” Fox asks.

“I kind of am,” I admit. “Isn’t that silly? It’s not like I haven’t done this before.”

“Ithasbeen a while.”

He’s right about that. Juniper Cain has been on hiatus for the past six months. And it’s been glorious.

After the interview, I spent a lot of time talking with Fox and Grey about what I wanted to do next. I was even able to talk to my mom. It was still difficult to be totally honest with her about my career and the choices I had to make, but I’m working on letting go of that tension.

I’m letting go of a lot of things these days.

Grey’s question from that day he came to my house with donuts and whiskey kept rolling through my head.Do you even want to be an actress?I still can’t fully answer that question. What I do know is that I don’t want to force myself down any one path anymore.

So I’ve spent the time since we wrapped in North Carolina trying to figure my shit out. Fox and I traveled a little bit during his time off—it was so nice to actually experience different places, instead of just working my way through them. I’ve been volunteering with the Ransome family’s foundation. Fox’s Aunt Sam is setting up a new literacy program, which Fox is sponsoring himself after coming clean with his family about the way he still struggles with reading.

I’ve enjoyed that work a lot more than I thought I would. I even signed up for an elementary literacy development class at the same university the Littles are attending. Vega and Violet get a big kick out of seeing me on campus twice a week and telling all their classmates that they know me.

I’m not sure if I have a future career in helping people learn to read. I don’t know if I’ll keep taking classes after this one. I don’t even know if I’ll ever make another movie again—at the moment, I’m not booked for anything.

There was a time when that amount of uncertainty would have panicked me. But I don’t feel panicked these days. There’s one thing I’m damn sure of—I love the man sitting across from me in this limo. Everything else will sort itself out.

“Almost our turn,” Fox says, and I peek out the window to see we’re inching up in the line of cars. I can see the red carpet now, a line of celebrities already making their way down the gauntlet of reporters and photographers. I’m pretty sure I catch a glimpse of my cousin Gabe near the beginning of the carpet. As expected, he didn’t bring a date.

“It’s kind of weird to think this might be the last time I do this for a while,” I tell Fox.

“Just because you won’t have a movie to promote doesn’t mean there’ll be a lack of red carpets in your life,” he points out. “I have two films coming out next year.” He grins at me. “I’m going to need some arm candy at the premieres.”

“I see how it is. That’s all I am to you, right? Your trophy girlfriend.”

Before I’ve even finished the sentence, he’s lunging across the limo, his body stretching over mine. “The prettiest, sexiest trophy I’ve ever seen in my life,” he says, bringing his lips down to my neck.

“That’s way less cute and far more offensive than you think it is,” I tell him, loving the feel of his shoulders shaking under my hands while he laughs.

“You’re right. Please don’t ever tell my mother or sisters I actually called you a sexy trophy. They’ll murder me.”

“And you would deserve it.” I nestle my face into his neck. I’m probably going to get makeup on his collar, but it’s hard to care. It just feels too good to be close to Fox to worry about the consequences.

Which I guess is how this whole thing started. And thank God it did.

We both jump when the door next to us opens. The production assistant takes one look at us and immediately slams the door shut again. I burst into giggles against Fox’s throat. “Do you think any cameras were quick enough to catch that?”

He grins down at me, looking as happy as I’ve ever seen him. “Can’t say that I care very much.”

We spend a moment straightening our clothes and I reapply my lipstick. This time the PA knocks on our door before opening it. Fox slides out first and I hear a roar from the crowd as he’s recognized. I smile as I shake my head. He’s getting more and more popular every day, it seems. He’s had one film come out between wrapping our movie and this premiere and there’s been some award season talk swirling around town.

Before he even waves to the crowd, he turns back to the open door and holds out his hand for me. I allow him to guide me out of the car and the crowd gets even louder. This is the first time we’ve attended a public event together as a couple. I’m kind of looking forward to seeing what the headlines might say tomorrow.

It takes forever to make our way down the red carpet. There are reporters to talk to and groups of photographers to pose in front of. After about fifteen minutes, I realize that I haven’t had to remind myself to smile even once. Just being here with Fox, holding hands, not having to hide the way I feel about him, is enough to keep a perma-grin on my face.

The only hiccup comes when we see Jimmy. I knew he was going to be here, since he produced the film, and I thought I had myself psyched up to deal with any remaining guilt or fear I might feel in his presence.

I didn’t need to worry. Fox’s hand tightens in mine as my grandfather approaches, and I realize that the only thing I feel is slightly sad. It would be nice if I had the kind of relationship with my grandfather where seeing him inspired some happiness. But I don’t. And I’m finally learning that it isn’t my fault. No amount of being the perfect granddaughter was ever going to make this man care more about me than his studio.

“Juniper,” he booms, always on for the cameras. “Mr. Ransome. It’s so nice to see you both.”