Page 111 of Shine For Me

Fox

“Okay, what’s the betting pool?” I ask my cousins as June and I join the group on my Uncle Cash’s porch. “I get dibs on tears once the cars are loaded.”

“You’re way off,” Will says. “At least one of them is going to be crying the second the boxes start coming downstairs.”

June narrows her eyes at me. “Are you taking bets on when your dads will start crying?”

“Obviously,” Will, River, and I say at the same time.

“You’re all mean,” June says. “Look at them! They legitimately look heartbroken.”

We all turn to see our fathers standing in a group on the driveway, their heads bowed. June isn’t wrong—they look downright despondent. The day they’ve been dreading is finally here. The Littles are starting college next week and today is move-in day. We’ve all gathered in the neighborhood to help pack up their things and say goodbye.

“The Littles are going to school twenty minutes away,” Will points out. “You have to admit, they’re being a little ridiculous.”

“And you’re just going to be super chill about your little sister starting college?” she asks him. “When CeCe climbs into that car with all her stuff you won’t be thinking about her as a baby? Or remembering her learning to walk and talk? You don’t feel anything when you think about coming over to your Mom and Dad’s and having her not be here? You don’t—”

“Shut up, June,” he says in his growly voice, and River and I laugh.

She turns to me. “What are you laughing at? You realize that Violet and Ash are moving today too, right?”

“Fox,” River says. “Make your girlfriend be quiet.”

“You know what I think?” June continues. “You’re just ragging on your dads to try to distract from the fact that you’re all a mess about this, too.”

“They’re babies!” Will bursts out. “They shouldn’t be moving away. There’s no way they can take care of themselves on their own.”

Everly shakes her head at him. “I think you need to go stand with the sad old men.”

The front door bangs open and CeCe and Cade appear, both of them holding boxes from her bedroom. “If you’re taking bets on crying,” CeCe says, “you’re way too late. Dad cried when he saw me at the kitchen table this morning.”

“My dad woke me up today and he cried before I even got out of bed,” Cade adds. “And why the hell are you all just standing here? She’s got about a hundred boxes in her room, and we’re going to need to repeat this little activity at three more houses.”

Carting boxes down the stairs provides a good distraction from the sick feeling in my gut. I’ve tried to be cool about this. I know how excited Ash and Violet are. Ash has been working hard with his therapist to show Mom and Dad that he’s ready for this step. My brother and sister deserve to have an amazing college experience. But God, the thought of the two of them not being upstairs in their rooms every night makes me want to sit right down and start bawling.

We get CeCe’s things packed into Uncle Cash’s SUV before going down the street to Lennon and Hayley’s house where we do the same with Cade’s stuff. Loading up Vega takes the longest. She not only has a ridiculous amount of clothes, but she’s also insisting on taking half of her baking supplies. I don’t know where she thinks she’s going to be decorating cupcakes in a little dorm room, but I don’t argue.

Finally we end up at my parents’. I’m not at all surprised to find Violet’s room a chaotic mess of boxes and garbage bags, while Ash’s things are lined up neatly by the door. I try not to think about how empty their rooms look as we bring the boxes outside. The good thing about having so many cousins is how easy it makes work like this—there are lots of sets of arms for carrying boxes. Today, I’m not really counting that as a positive, though. The sooner we get everything moved, the sooner they leave.

I manage to keep it together pretty well until I see Rose hugging Violet. That’s when my eyes start to sting. Ash is bouncing Poppy in his arms while River stands nearby, talking to our little brother in a low voice.

“You hanging in there?” June asks, coming up behind me to slip her arms around my middle.

“I know this is ridiculous,” I say in a thick voice. “The school is twenty minutes away.”

She squeezes me. “It’s not ridiculous at all.”

All around me, my cousins are hugging their younger siblings and the dads aren’t the only ones crying. We decided just the parents will be doing the actual dropping off at the dorms, so the kids don’t have to deal with this whole chaotic crowd. They’ll get more than enough attention when they stroll into their new school with the Ransome brothers carrying their boxes.

When Rose finally releases Violet, I go over and pull her into a hug. “Be good.” I’m proud of myself for keeping my voice even. “But not too good. Have some fun, okay, Vi?”

She nods against my chest and hugs me tighter. “Ash is going to be fine,” I whisper in her ear. “So don’t you spend all your time worrying, okay?”

“I’ll try.”

I kiss the top of her head before pulling away. “This is so silly,” she says, wiping at her eyes. “I’ll probably see you in like, two weeks.”

“It’s completely normal to miss me,” I tell her. “I’m pretty awesome.”