Page 102 of Shine For Me

He blows out a breath. “That’s really sad, June.”

My laugh is tinged with bitterness. “Story of my life.”

We both sip our whiskey for a minute. “Okay, here’s a simpler question—what’s going on with Ransome?”

I groan. “I’m going to need more donuts for that conversation.”

It feels weird, at first, telling Grey about Fox. I don’t think we’ve ever talked to each other about our relationships. And Grey and Fox are so different, I don’t see how my brother can understand what I would like about him.

But he listens to everything without smirking or rolling his eyes. I tell him about becoming friends with Fox before we’d even filmed our first movie. About helping to show him the ropes in Hollywood. How much better I would feel attending events with him. How it started to feel like he was my safe place in the middle of so much chaos.

“I probably liked him forever,” I admit. “But he didn’t feel anything back until this last movie, when we were in North Carolina together.”

“He was okay with the Adam thing?”

“No. He understood that it was complicated and that I had a hard time standing up to Jimmy. He told me he could be patient. But he hated that the world thought I was still with Adam. I finally got up the guts to tell Grandpa it was over, and I insisted we release a statement. He kept putting it off.” I shake my head. “God, I was so stupid. He probably had no intention of ever releasing that statement.”

“And then the pictures of you and Fox came out and Jimmy went into damage control mode,” Grey says.

“Pretty much.” My hand clenches around my whiskey glass. “And once again, I let him bully me into doing what he wanted.” All that talk this summer about working on my courage and getting stronger. And it only took one phone call from Jimmy for me to abandon all my good intentions. No wonder Fox doesn’t want anything to do with me.

“He threatenedMom, June,” Grey says, his eyes flashing with anger. “Of course you panicked.”

“I just kept remembering the way she would look when we had reporters following us as kids,” I say. “Thinking about them there, at her cottage—that place is her sanctuary, Grey. What choice did I have?”

“Jimmy can’t keep getting away with this shit,” Grey snarls. “I mean it—we need to put a stop to it.”

“How do we do that? I’m all for telling him to go to hell, Grey, but what’s to stop him from hurting Mom?”

“What do you think Mom would want you to do, if you told her about that phone call?” I stiffen, knowing where he’s going with this. I’d gotten out of the cottage before she came back from yoga that day, leaving nothing but a note. I’m sure she heard what happened from Jude. But would our older brother have told her about Jimmy’s threat? He would have known how much that would upset her and no one is more protective of our mother than Jude.

“She would want me to tell him to go to hell,” I reply. “Which is why it’s not up to her.”

“June.”

“No, Grey. We both know she’d tell me that she isn’t afraid of Jimmy. She’d tell me that we can’t let his threats control our lives.” He opens his mouth and I hold up a hand to stop him. “She would say all of that, Grey, but she would still suffer if he tried to hurt her.”

“But maybe that’s her choice to make,” he says softly. “What if we tried so hard to protect her back then that we made things worse? What if she would have been happier staying in LA if it meant she had us with her?”

“That’s possible—but it doesn’t have anything to do with what’s happening now. Because letting Jimmy hurt her would definitely be worse in this scenario.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe she would choose whatever he has to throw at her over letting her children suffer for her.” He holds my gaze. “Because that is what’s happening here, Junie. You’resuffering. You aren’t happy and you haven’t been in a really long time.” He reaches over and brushes away a fresh tear, his out of character sweetness only making me cry harder. “You’re in love with Ransome and you’re letting him go to try and protect Mom. She wouldn’t want that. And we both know it.”

“So what do I do? I don’t even know if Fox will forgive me. He hasn’t returned my calls.” I wipe at my streaming eyes. “I don’t even blame him. Why would he want anything to do with me after all this?”

“Because you’re amazing and he’d be lucky to have you,” Grey says sharply.

I blink at him for a moment, completely caught off guard by my stoic, cold brother’s display of emotion.

“Grey, did you just compliment me?” I ask and he rolls his eyes, his normal wry expression coming back to his face.

“It was a one-time thing. Don’t get used to it.”

I grin at him before my humor fades and I sigh. “I still don’t know what to do. Not about Fox and definitely not about Jimmy.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Grey begins, but he’s interrupted by the sound of a notification from my phone. There’s that stupid hope again.

But this time, I was right to be hopeful. Because there’s a text message from Fox on my screen.