Page 81 of More For Me

“You’renoneof those things.”

“Then it’s time I fucking stop acting like it, isn’t it?”

He watches me for a moment. “If you really want to try to move on…”

“I do.”

He nods. “Okay. I’ll make sure the others don’t bring it up anymore.”

I feel the strangest mix of relief and disappointment. Relief because I won’t have to deal with their constant interference and teasing. Disappointment because the idea of the Ransomes giving up on this feels very final for some reason. Like once they’ve decided there’s no hope for me and their cousin, it really will be over.

It’s already over,I remind myself.

A harried waitress comes over and takes our nacho order. Leo orders a pint of Guinness and I ask for another bottle of the IPA.

“How many of those have you had?” he asks, looking at the nearly empty bottle in front of me.

“Only two.”

“Have they helped?”

I snort. “Not nearly enough.”

He mercifully changes the subject, telling me about his week and how he struggling to find a balance between his research and wanting to be home with Rose all the time. Leo used to be the guy that put his academic ambitions above all else, so it makes me pretty damn gleeful—in spite of the twinge of envy at how much those two love each other—to see his priorities shift so much.

He cuts off mid-sentence, looking over my shoulder. “You know there’s a woman over at the faculty table who’s literally been staring at us the entire time I’ve been here, right?”

I don’t need to turn around to know who he’s talking about. “Yeah. I think she’s been flirting with me.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You think?”

“I mean, at first I thought she was just being friendly but now…yeah, pretty sure she’s flirting.” The truth is, she could have been flirting for months—years even—and I wouldn’t have noticed. It’s not that I didn’t date anyone since meeting Everly, but I went in to every relationship knowing it wasn’t going to get serious. Sometimes it seems like I lost my ability to really see women who aren’t her—Everly is always there, taking up all the space.

“She’s attractive,” he says cautiously, eying my face like he’s judging my reaction. “Do you get along?”

“Sure. Most of our department is older so we tend to hang out at school—sit together at staff meetings, that kind of thing.” His gaze darts back in her direction and my stomach drops. I know exactly what he’s thinking. It’s the same thing Nisha told me the first night I showed up at her house.

“When’s the last time you went on a date?”

I groan, rubbing my hands across my face. I haven’t shaved in a few days and the stubble is getting out of control. “It’s been a while.” I look up. “I know what you’re going to say.”

He shrugs. “You said you wanted to move on. Maybe it would help.”

“She’s a nice girl,” I shoot back. “Is it really fair to her if I ask her out just to see if it would help me get over someone else?”

“Honestly, the way she’s looking at you, I have a feeling she won’t really mind why you ask her, just so long as you do. That girl has it bad, Bodhi.”

A stab of guilt hits my chest. I know what it feels like to crush on someone and have them not even notice you. I hate that I might have done that to Jordan.

Get out there and do some things for you,Nisha had suggested.See what else life has to offer besides Everly Ransome.

Maybe my sister is right. Maybe it’s time to take a chance on someone else. At the worst, we won’t have chemistry and we can just hang out as friends like we always have. It’s better than sitting around and moping, right? It’s better than feeling likethis.

Anything would be better than feeling like this.