Page 114 of More For Me

Everly

In general, I would consider myself a pretty happy person. I have an amazing family and a great job. I’m lucky enough to live in a beautiful place where most days are warm and sunny and the beach is only a few miles away. I start every morning by writing one thing I’m grateful for in a notebook I keep by my bed, and I try to let that positivity guide the rest of the day.

It’s not that I see the world with rose colored glasses. I’m not blind to the fact that there’s a lot of crappy stuff out there for people to deal with. For all of our privilege, I’ve seen members of my family, people I love more than anything, go through some really hard times. Illness. Depression. Addiction. Loss. I know as well as anyone that just putting on a happy face isn’t enough to ease the pain life throws at us sometimes.

But I consider that all the more reason to enjoy the hell out of the time I have here. It’s almost like spite—I can’t stop the world from being a cruel, unfeeling place, but I try my best to put as much joy out into the universe as I can.

So, yeah. I’ve always been a pretty happy person. But I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy as I’ve been these last few weeks with Bodhi.

We’ve always had a good time together. The basis of our friendship has pretty much been, “Everly and Bodhi try to have as much fun as humanly possible.” But there’s something about having this new, deeper commitment that brings everything to the next level. Yes, the kissing and the amazing sex helps, but even the normal, every-day stuff feels a hundred times more meaningful and incredible.

Case in point—my current excitement level over our weekend plans to visit the zoo.

“This is going to be awesome,” I say, giving a little bounce in the passenger seat of Bodhi’s Jeep. I look over at him. “Aren’t you excited?”

“Definitely,” he says. “Super excited.”

My eyes catch on his hands on the steering wheel. His grip is so tight his knuckles are turning white. “You don’t really look super excited.” When he doesn’t respond, I poke his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he says quickly—too quickly.

“Bodhi.”

“Ooh, I love this song,” he says, reaching forward and turning up the volume. Except the song he supposedly loves is actually a commercial jingle.

“Are you trying to change the subject?” I ask, mock-outraged. “You should know by now that I’m not so easily dissuaded.”

“Yes, well, it would be a lot easier to dissuade you if I had my hands free,” he mutters.

I gasp out a laugh. “Bodhi Lakra. Are you saying you would try to use sexual favors to get me to stop asking questions?”

“Yes,” he says with zero guilt. “You’re like a freaking Pitbull with a bone when you want to know something. I would use any trick at my disposal to get you to back off.”

“Well, now I’mdefinitelynot going to.”

He sighs. “Look, I am very excited to be spending the day with you.”

“Obviously,” I shoot back. “I’m the best and you’re crazy about me.”

He grins, his hands relaxing slightly. “Obviously.”

I wait for him to go on and groan when he doesn’t. “Bodhi. I hate secrets.”

He snorts. “Really? I never noticed. It’s not like you once made me hide in the bushes outside your Aunt Karen’s house to see if Nix was going to try to kiss his date after the Spring Fling at school.”

“I didn’t make you!”

“You tricked me! You told me we were going out for ice cream when you know I love ice cream.”

“Only because Alex refused to help me on my stakeout!”

He lets out an exasperated laugh. “You’re insane, you know that, right?”

“Yet you still love me.”

We both freeze as those words settle between us. I was mostly teasing, the kind of thing we’ve both said a hundred times before. Or would have, at least, before everything changed. Neither of us have mentioned the wordlovesince that night on the rooftop bar.

“You’re right,” he says softly, peeling one of his hands away from the steering wheel and holding it out. I take it between two of mine immediately, bringing our tangled fingers up to my mouth to press a kiss against his palm.