Page 96 of The One You Want

Chapter 23

It was quiet for a long moment while we stared at each other. In some ways, he looked just the way he always did. Flannel shirt, faded blue jeans. Same dark hair and slightly unkemptbeard.

But there was something different about Grant, too. His hair was a mess, the way it looked when he got agitated with work and ran his fingers through it one too many times. His face was pale, dark purple shadows under his eyes, as if he hadn’t been sleeping. And the look in his eyes—he looked about as wrecked as Ifelt.

“You weren’t at the market,” he whispered and I stared at him, trying to think of a response to that. It was hard to think of much of anything right then, standing so close to him after all those daysapart.

“Can I come in?” he asked, eyes searching my face. “I understand if you say nobut—”

“Yeah,” I finally managed to say, opening the door wider. “Comein.”

His eyes widened at something over my shoulder and I remembered that Riley was still here. I had completely forgotten about her presence the second I laid eyes on Grant. He had a tendency of pushing all the other thoughts out of my mind when he was nearby. I wondered if that would everchange.

“Are you okay?” Riley asked me, looking at Grant like she wasn’t sure she should leave me withhim.

“Yeah,” I assured her. “I’m fine. Thanks for comingover.”

“Anytime,” she assured me, before turning her icy gaze on Grant. “My boyfriend works in construction,” she told him. “He’s got a lot of heavy tools at our place. Just keep that inmind.”

I almost laughed. The expression on her face was so serious and Grant’s eyes had gone big with worry. Then he nodded, sadness crossing hisfeatures.

“I understand,” hemumbled.

She gave me one last encouraging glance before she left and I tried to take strength from it. I was going to need strength forthis.

“You weren’t at the market,” he repeated almost the second the doorclosed.

I raised an eyebrow at him and put all the ice I could find into my voice. “I wasn’t feeling up toit.”

The same flash of sadness washed over his features. “That was my fault,” he murmured and it wasn’t a question. His eyes scanned my living room, widening a little bit, and I was sure he was making note of how different it looked from usual. I had been raised to be a neat freak by grandmother so the array of dirty dishes littering the coffee table looked out of place. There were several throws balled up on the couch, as well as my pillow, since it had been too hard to sleep in my own bed since he broke up withme.

We’d had too many perfect moments in thatbed.

Then his eyes scanned over me in the same way, taking in my rat’s nest hair and sweat pants. My eyes had been puffy and red-rimmed for days and I was sure they looked no better now. Grant hung his head but not before I saw pure pain fill hiseyes.

“Why did you come here?” Iwhispered.

He didn’t look up. “I was worried, when you didn’t show uptoday.”

My annoyance flared. “Yeah, well, it hasn’t been the easiest few days for me,” Isnapped.

“I know,” he whispered. “I’m sosorry.”

I let out a long breath, trying to steady myself. All the drive to tell him how I felt left the building right around the time I saw the guilt in his eyes.He just feels bad,that vicious voice in my headinsisted.

“I need to tell you something,” he blurted out suddenly, finally raising his face to look at me. The sadness and pain was still there but it was now joined by something like desperation. “I’ve gone back and forth a hundred times on whether or not to tell you, but I just can’t stand itanymore.”

A pit of dread grew in my belly. He was going to admit to taking the bribe. That’s what this was. The guilt was eating at him and he wanted to clear hisconscience.

“Come and sit down,” I said in a deadened voice. Maybe if I could dredge up some of that numbness from the first few days I’d be able to get throughthis.

He joined me on the couch, reaching out a hand automatically when Mittens jumped up onto the cushions. But Mittens didn’t go to Grant—who he had loved from the get-go. Instead he planted himself on my thighs, kneading his claws in just a little, like he was letting me know he was there, and turned his yellow eyes on Grant. His unexpected protectiveness brought tears to my eyes for what felt like the millionth time in the lastweek.

God, I was getting tired of my own patheticness. I needed to let Grant get whatever he needed to off his chest and then I was going to clean this entire place. Take a nice hot shower and brush out my mess of hair. Maybe I’d go to Cora’s and get dinner, see if I could find some of my friends. Margaret or Iris or any of the Libbies, really. Maybe Andrew or Edward, who had never been anything but kind to me when I hung out with Riley. Hell, even dinner with Jerry wouldn’t be toobad.

Ididhave friends here on Lilac Bay. No matter what else came of it, this experience taught me that. And realizing that gave me enough strength to turn toGrant.

“What did you want to tellme?”