Page 62 of Layla

John finishes his room check in record time, his jaw clenched when he returns to the hall. “I need a word,” he mutters, and it sounds like he’s been gargling gravel, his voice is so rough.

And here comes the lecture. I close my eyes. “Go ahead,” I tell Conner. “I’ll be right in.”

He gives me one more lascivious grin. “I’ll make myself comfortable.”

John waits until the door closes before he speaks. “How much do you know about this guy?”

I shrug, eyes still closed. “He’s a pretty decent bass player.”

John makes a scathing noise in the back of his throat. “I’m serious, Layla.”

My eyes snap open, finally taking in his face. I can’t read anything in his expression. He is completely controlled, cold. And suddenly I’m so tired. “You obviously have something to say,” I mutter. “So just say it.”

“There’s been a lot of drug use on Downlow’s bus,” he says, his voice still cold. He doesn’t even sound like himself. Certainly not the same velvet voice I’d heard in the dark of my room last night.

“You do know this is a rock tour.”

He’s quiet for a moment and I swear there’s disapproval in his cold eyes. “Louis was very insistent that Intrigue is drug free on the road.”

“We are.” It’s something we all agreed to after Haylee’s last hospitalization. We were going to take it easy with the drinking when she was around and we were going to keep the bus and venues absolutely clean. James has even refrained from smoking weed when she’s around. “But that doesn’t mean we’re going to force another band into following our personal guidelines.”

“And what if he’s high right now?” John asks and for the first time his voice doesn’t sound quite so controlled. “You really want to go into that room with him?”

“He isn’t high right now. He’s drunk. Like me.”

His hands clench at his sides. “Another reason this is a fantastic idea.”

“You know what,” I bark, my temper rising. “You don’t get to judge me for who I hook up with, John. That’s not your job.”

“Believe me,” he grits out. “I know.”

I shake my head. “Are we finished now? You walked me to my room. I promise not to leave it before morning. Happy?”

He barks out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, you staying in your room all night with that loser definitely makes me happy.”

There’s something so bitter in his tone, so angry, it makes the hairs on my arms stand up. “He’s not the stalker. You don’t need to worry.”

I don’t know what makes me meet his gaze at that moment. Maybe I’m a masochist and I want to see the disappointment and disgust on his face. But I don’t find it. Instead, every ounce of cold control is gone. His jaw is ticking again, his eyes burning. He looks like he’s seconds away from throwing me over his shoulder and taking me far away from this place. I take a step back, scared for some reason I can’t even begin to express.

“He’s waiting for me,” I whisper, my throat dry.

John opens his mouth, like he wants to say something, but then snaps it shut again. His fiery eyes are locked on mine, so intense I feel like I can’t breathe. I have to get away from whatever it is in those eyes, in his dark expression. I take another step back, and another, until I feel the door behind my back. Only then do I turn away. As I reach for the handle, I hear John’s voice, soft and pained behind me.

“Please don’t do this, Layla.”

My hand freezes on the handle. There’s so much emotion in his voice, so much that I can’t even read. There’s anger and frustration and a whole lot of something that I’m pretty sure is pain.

“Why?” I whisper, my eyes on the door, too cowardly to turn back to him. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t.”

He’s silent behind me, just as I knew he would be. Whatever he might be feeling, John isn’t going to tell me about it. And he’s never going to compromise that moral code that sent him running from this very room this morning. God, had that only been this morning? It feels like a lifetime ago.

I give him a full minute of silence before I sigh, my body filling with exhaustion and sadness, disappointment and pain. “That’s what I thought,” I murmur. Then I open the door and slip inside, leaving him alone in the hallway.