Page 46 of Layla

“The horror.”

“It was!” I argue. “My clothes were how I expressed myself. That was the worst thing she could have done.” I smile, remembering it. “She would drive me to and from school to make sure I didn’t skip. When that didn’t work she stayed there, all day, walking me to my classes. It was so embarrassing. She’s this total hippie, the complete opposite of me, and I’d have to walk through the halls with her where everyone could see. I never skipped school again after that.”

He laughs. “She knew how to get to you.”

“She really, really did.” I’m quiet for a minute. “Mostly she talked to me. A lot. I used to get so tired of the sound of her voice. And she’d make me talk, too. She would just sit and stare at me for hours until I finally gave in and told her how I was feeling.” My heart squeezes a little. God, I love Dee. “Then she gave me my first set of drums and that was pretty much it—she had my loyalty forever.”

“She got you into music,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

“She thought the drums would be a good way to get out some of my anger.” And man, I had been an angry kid.

“Did it work?”

“Mostly. I was still a handful, but I felt better about things after that. Felt like I had a purpose.” The biggest thing was that I started to believe that Dee just might keep me around.

“She adopted me when I was sixteen,” I continue around the lump in my throat. “She had never done an adoption before, she always stuck with foster kids. I was her first.” Saying those words fills me with a familiar warmth. Dee was the only person who ever wanted me.

“I’d like to meet her,” John says softly.

I burst out laughing at the thought. “Oh my God, it would be epic. I was not kidding when I said she’s a hippie, John. You think I can rant? Wait until you get her going on American military involvement in the middle east. Or police brutality.” I can’t stop laughing. “She would eat you alive.”

“You don’t have to sound so gleeful about it,” he says, but he’s laughing too. Then he sighs. “Honestly, I probably agree with her on a lot of it. It would not be an exaggeration to say I’m a bit jaded about my service.”

“You didn’t like the army.”

The laughter is back in his voice when he responds. “I wasn’t in the army, Layla. I was aNavy SEAL. There’s a huge difference.”

“I know you can’t see it in the dark,” I tell him. “But I’m totally rolling my eyes at you right now. Just so that you know.”

“I wouldn’t have expected anything else,” he assures me.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

He releases my hand and I can’t help the swell of disappointment that goes through me. “Service was good for me,” he finally says. “It was also expected of me. It was in my blood. It’s what my father did, my uncles, my grandfather, my cousins.”

“Jesus,” I mutter.

He makes a scathing noise. “Yeah, never felt like I had much of a choice. But I was good at it. I enjoyed working with my men. It’s like you said—I felt like I had a purpose.”

“So, what happened?”

“Nothing in particular. It’s not like I had one huge traumatic thing happen. It was the everyday stuff. It adds up. Weighs on you. It’s like I said, I saw a lot of shit, a lot of it bad. I saw a lot of people die who shouldn’t have died. I was responsible for some of them.” He sighs. “In the end, I was relieved when my last tour was up, and I made the decision not to reenlist.”

“You became a cop instead.”

He’s smiling again, I can tell. “That was the other half of the family business,” he says. “You were either in the service or on the force. Most of us did both.”

“The testosterone at your family’s Thanksgiving must be off the charts,” I mutter drily.

“I think it’s safe to say Dee would have a field day with us.”

My giggle is interrupted by a yawn. “You should sleep,” John says immediately.

I tamp down the disappointment. I like talking to him. When’s the last time I stayed up late talking to someone like this?

“You too,” I remind him.

“You know something,” he mutters, his voice sleepy, “I have a feeling I might actually be able to get some rest tonight.”