Page 83 of Lance

“Without thinking about Simon?” he asks, his voice strained. “You think I’m thinking about anything else besidesSimon?”

“I think you’re thinking about how this all affectsyou.”

He finally meets my eyes and I wish he hadn’t. He’s glaring, clearly pissed, but I don’t care. There’s relief in his face, I can see it. He’s actually going to dothis.

“I haven’t decided anything,” he says, like he’s reading mymind.

“But you’re consideringit.”

“Of course I’m considering it! If there’s a chance she’s best forhim—”

“Does he know her?” I ask. He doesn’t respond. “’Cause I’m thinking if it took her this long to notice what Angie did, that means they don’t exactly see each other all thetime.”

“Lynn lives in Chicago,” he mutters. “Angie and Simon were in San Antonio most of hislife.”

“So this woman barely knows her grandson,” I surmise. “And you want to just hand himover?”

“I’m not handing him anywhere! I’m just looking at all theoptions!”

“I can’t believe you would even considerit.”

He stares at me, silent and angry. I stare back, wondering if I actually know this man atall.

“Look,” he says, and I get the impression he’s trying very hard to be calm. “We both know this isn’t the best situation for akid.”

“Why?” I shoot back, and Lance rolls hiseyes.

“Come on, Willa. I’m working these crazy hours, leaving him with a nanny all the time. And this is a calm period! I can actually be in one place for an extended amount of time while we record. What do you think happens when the band goes ontour?”

“Other people figure it out,” I say. “Cash andWyatt—”

“Wyatt isn’t his son,” he interrupts. “Wyatt has a mother to take care of him. He doesn’t go on the road withRansom.”

“Well Daltrey andDaisy—”

“Are together. Neither of them is a single parent trying to figure thisout.”

“But youcouldfigure it out!” I cry. “You thought it seemed so impossible when he first showed up, but look at how well you’veadapted.”

He looks at me for a long moment, then he shakes his head. “Why are you reacting likethis?”

I stare at him, incredulous. “You knew exactly how I was going to react,” I say. “And that’s why you went to a lawyer before you talked tome.”

“You’re not his mother, Willa! We’re not playing house here!” My head actually snaps back slightly, as if he’d struck me. I can see the regret in his eyes instantly, but he doesn’t take it back. When he speaks again his voice is softer, but every bit as cold. “You don’t get to decidethis.”

It takes a moment for me to be sure I can speak. “I know I’m not his mother, Lance. His mother left him with a complete stranger. And he’s finally starting to adjust—to do pretty well, actually. To feel attached to his dad, to feel safe. And now you want to leave himtoo.”

There’s a flash of something in Lance’s eyes, and when he opens his mouth I barely recognize his voice. “You’re projecting your abandonment issues on me. I’m just trying to do what’s right forhim.”

“I think you’re projectingyourabandonment issues. You think you can’t possibly be a good dad to him because of the way your dadleft.”

“That’sbullshit.”

There are tears in my eyes and I wipe them away hurriedly. “You care about him more than this. I know youdo.”

He stands suddenly, planting his hands on the table and leaning toward me, his eyes flashing. “If I care about him then maybe the best thing for me to do is let himgo.”

“What? That doesn’t even make anysense.”