Page 28 of Lance

“Willa, I don’t think you need to changeanything—”

She cuts me off with another laugh. “Come on, Lance. Do you know how many friends I have?” She holds up her index finger. “One. Precisely one friend. And I didn’t even meet her until I got tocollege.”

I swallow. The loneliness in her voice is palpable. But she’s not finished. “I was in a special school from kindergarten to twelfth grade. Did James tell you that?” He had. A freak school, he had said, laughing. I don’t think he ever meant it as an insult—the pride in his voice was obvious whenever he talked about her, his crazy smart little sister. But I don’t tell her that. I have a feeling she won’t take it as a compliment. “I had no social life,” she goes on, not waiting for my answer. “I’ve barely dated. I’ve never been in love. Never really traveled. I rarely go out. I’ve never even been to Disneyland.” She snorts a little. “Isn’t that ridiculous? I’ve been living in LA for more than 3 years and I’ve never made the time to go out and see any of it. Because I workall the time.” She closes her eyes. “I could have graduated when I was sixteen, you know. Fromcollege. I had enough credits. I had to fight with my parents to go away to school for a second degree instead of going right into grad school before I could even vote. I’ve spent my entire life thinking school and hard work are the only things I can do, the only things I’ll ever be good at.” Her eyes are fierce when she opens them again. “I’mtiredofit.”

I don’t know how to respond. James would probably want me to encourage her to think about it, to not throw away the years of work when she’s so close to the end. But how can I say that? How I can look her in the eyes right now and tell her she’swrong?

“I went to that party to try and be someone else,” she continues, her voice flat. “I got all dressed up and let Nia do my makeup and I threw myself at the hottest guy in the room. Because that’s something thatMinniewould never do.” Suddenly her mouth drops open, like her words are finally catching up. Her cheeks flood with color and it’s so cute I have to clench my fists under the table to keep from reaching for herhand.

“The hottest guy in the room, huh?” I ask, unable to keep the teasing note from myvoice.

“Oh, shut up,” she says, the blush deepening. But she doesn’t get tongue-tied or start to stammer and I feel a strange rush of pride for her. “But even with all that, it didn’t really matter,” she says. “I was still the same cluelessidiot—”

“Hang on,” I interrupt. “You’re not clueless and you’re not an idiot,Willa.”

She rolls her eyes. “I sure acted likeone.”

“Because you got drunk and flirted? Come on. Everyone doesthat.”

“No,” she says, sounding sad. “Because I thought getting drunk and flirting would make adifference.”

“Willa—”

“It made me see how trapped I am. And I realized that I don’t want to feel like thatanymore.”

“So you decided to change somethingbigger.”

She nods at me before taking another drink. “Exactly.”

I sip my whiskey for a moment, watching her. “So what are you going to donow?”

She shrugs, looking unsure for the first time. “I don’t really know. I was living off my scholarships and grants, which I’m going to lose for sure. I guess I’ll have to get a job.” She smiles sheepishly. “I’ve never even had a job. Isn’t that ridiculous? I’ve had internships and work experiences and resume building crap like that. But I’ve never had a normal, kid-my-age kind of job. Not even in highschool.”

“So you gonna start working in a movie theater?” I ask, grinning. “That sounds like a high school kind ofjob.”

She grins back. “In high school James used to work at an ice cream place to make money to buy guitars andstuff.”

I nod. “Girl’s got an IQ of about three hundred and twenty. Why shouldn’t she work at an ice creamplace?”

She giggles. “IQ scores don’t even go thathigh.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Since, you know, you’re a legit genius andall.”

We sit like that for a long moment, just smiling at each other, and it’s really hard not to notice how pretty she is when she’s happy like this. Her whole face is lit up and open and I really like that I get to see it like this, that she feels comfortable withme.

It makes me want to kissher.

She looks away suddenly, clearing her throat, and I bite back a curse. How obvious can I be here? She’s clearly in a rough place right now, not to mention the fact that her brother is one of my best friends, and the last thing she needs is me oglingher.

“Anyhow,” she says, her voice soft. “You didn’t do anything wrong at the party. I’m sorry I was so…embarrassing.”

“You weren’tembarrassing.”

She snorts, disbelieving, and I reach across the table to touch her hand, my internal warning of mere seconds ago be damned. “You didn’t do anything that I didn’t want you to do,” I say, my voice low. Her eyes widen in surprise and she’s blushing again. And now Ireallywant to kissher.

“I really should go,” she half-whispers, and I don’t know if I should be relieved or disappointed. “James will be wondering where Iam.”

James. God, why did I keep forgetting about James? Willa was off limits, and staring into those navy eyes was a recipe fordisaster.