Page 54 of Good For Me

She laughs into my shoulder, the sound thin and watery. “I’m really bad at figuring it out as I go.”

I grin, allowing myself a kiss to the top of her head. “My girl likes to have a plan.”

She nods against me.

“Okay then,” I say, reluctantly pulling back so I can look her in the face. “Then let’s make a plan. What’s the first thing we need to do? Have you seen a doctor? Should we go out and buy a pregnancy book?”

“Brie made me go to a free clinic right after I took the home test.” She shakes her head. “God, everything from that week is such a blur, I was practically a zombie. I honestly barely remember even being at the clinic beyond that moment when the nurse confirmed I was definitely pregnant.”

Something tightens in my gut at the thought of her learning that news without me. I wonder where I was that day. Was I out surfing when she found out our lives were about to change forever? Serving some drunk douchebag in a bar? The thought makes me feel vaguely sick.

“The clinic confirmed the pregnancy and said everything looked good, but I was supposed to find a doctor to continue seeing,” she says, guilt seeping into her voice. “I probably should have had another appointment by now. God, I’ve been so childish. It was like I couldn’t accept that this was happening.” She looks up at me with wild eyes. “Did I think it would just go away if I ignored it?”

“You were scared,” I remind her.

“Yeah, but I should have at least gone to the doctor!” Her voice is rising, panic mixing in with the guilt. “What if something’s wrong? What if—”

“Hey.” I squeeze her shoulder. “Give yourself a break, okay? We’re going to get on track now and that’s all that matters.”

She nods, not looking at all certain. “And hey,” I go on, giving her my most reassuring smile. “Now we have the first step in our plan, and I know you love plans.”

She manages the barest hint of a smile. “What’s that?”

“Step one—we find you a doctor.”