Page 43 of Good For Me

Fresh tears fill my eyes. That’s been happening a lot lately. Probably hormones. Or maybe it’s simply the fact that my life is an absolute shit show.

Brie starts to tug on my hand, trying to heft me from the floor, and I panic all over again.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you up so you can wash your face and go talk to him.”

“No!” I yelp, tugging my hand back. “Not yet.”

She studies my face. “Jesus, you’re shaking.”

I cover my face with my hands, trying to get myself together. But the panic won’t abate.

“Jas, why are you so freaked out? This isn’t like you.”

I can hear the words she doesn’t add—it isn’t like you to completely fall apart.And she’s right. I hadn’t even crumbled this completely when my grandfather died.

“Why are you so scared to tell him?” she presses.

I remove my hands to look up at my best friend. “Because if I tell him, it’s real.”

Sympathy flashes in her eyes. “Sweetie. It’s already real.”

I nod. “I know. I just…I just need a little more time.”

She studies my face for a long moment. “You don’t have to tell him tonight,” she concedes. “But you do need to saysomething. Set up a time to meet. At least get his phone number.”

I nod, even though I feel sick at the thought of even a minor interaction with River. I’m not sure I can handle looking into those blue eyes.

But Jas is right. Sometime very soon I’m going to have to force myself to be face-to-face with my one time one-night-stand. I’m going to have to tell him.

I’m going to have to ruin his life.