Page 20 of Good For Me

River

Iknow the bed is empty before I even open my eyes. I guess I’ve developed some innate awareness of Jasmine over the last few months of obsessing about her. I don’t even have to look to know she’s not in my room.

Disappointment and something like fear swirl in my belly. I didn’t want to wake up alone. I wanted to wake up with her in my arms, just like she was when we both finally crashed. We kept each other up all night, unable to keep our hands off each other. How in the hell did we go from that to a cold, empty bed?

I pull myself up and scramble for my phone on my nightstand, hoping she at least texted me. Instead my fingers curl around a slip of paper, and I pull it close to my face to read with blurry, still half-asleep eyes.

The note is short, only three words.Thank you, River.

That’s it. That’s all she said. No mention of where she went. No promise to call or see me later. The disappointment gets a little sharper in my gut.

Maybe she just had to get to work,I try to tell myself. I distracted her from doing the deposits last night. If she had other things to do today, she might have wanted to get that finished first. That sounds like Jas—working hard even on the weekend.

Except for last night. Last night she allowed some of her I’ve-got-my-shit-together persona to peel away just a bit, showing me those other sides of her that I always sensed were just below the surface. I smile to myself thinking about her wild teenage years.

My smile fades when I realize I’m looking at an entire day of obsessing about this. I’m not scheduled to work until after dinner, and I don’t even have Jasmine’s number to check in with her. The best I can do is cross my fingers that she’ll be around the bar tonight.

I drag myself to the shower, trying to muster up the energy to do something with my day. Surfing is my go-to when I want to sort things out in my head, but for once, that doesn’t actually sound like a great idea. I’m not so sure I want to be stuck with my own thoughts right now. They keep drifting to a pretty dark place—the kind of place where I question why on earth Jas would want anything to do with me. No, what I really need right now is a distraction.

When I get back to my room, I find a message from my youngest brother waiting on my phone. I’ve been promising him I’d come over to Mom and Dad’s to help him work on some skating tricks. Since I can think of nothing more distracting than my parents’ loud, crowded house, I jump at the chance.

An hour later, I’m standing next to the ramp behind my parents’ pool house, watching my brother, Ash, and our cousin, Cadence, zooming by on their skateboards.

“That’s better!” I shout to Ash. “Get that back foot planted next time.”

“I look so lame in this helmet,” he shouts back. “Mom isn’t even out here, can’t I take it off?”

“Nope. I agree with Mom on this one—gotta protect the noggin, man.” I turn to our cousin. “Okay, kid, your turn. Show me what you got.”

Cadence straightens his shoulders, a look of such serious concentration on his face that I have to bite back a laugh. “Skateboarding is supposed to be fun, Cade. Loosen up a little.”

He gives me a sheepish grin, shaking out his arms a little, then takes off on his board. He completes a fairly decent ollie and Ash and I both cheer.

“You’re both gonna be better than me in no time,” I tell them, ruffling Ash’s hair when he pulls off his helmet.

“I’d settle with being better than CeCe,” Cade mutters, and I laugh. Cecelia, the youngest cousin and baby of the family, is getting really good on a board. I make a mental note to take her out later this week and show her some more advanced stuff.

“Show us some ramp tricks,” Ash pleads. “Come on, Riv.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been on a ramp,” I warn. “I’m probably gonna fall on my ass.”

“Can’t be afraid to fall,” they say in unison, and I laugh—that’s my mantra whenever I’m teaching them something new.

I take my board over to the top of the mini-ramp and get into place, taking a few breaths. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve done it before—there’s nothing like the thrilling rush I get before dropping in. I do a few runs through the ramp, getting a feel for it, before popping a frontside ollie at the top of the pass.

The boys let out whoops of excitement. “When do you think we’ll be ready for that?” Cade asks.

“Depends on how much you want to practice.”

They share a look. “Like, by Labor Day you think?” Cade asks in an overly casual voice. I look between the two of them.

“Maybe,” I hedge. That’s less than two months away, but I don’t want to discourage them. “What’s going on for Labor Day?”

“Just an end of summer party some dumb kid is throwing,” Cade says in that same too-casual voice.

I grin at them. “This is about a girl, isn’t it?” The fact that they both immediately turn bright red is all the confirmation I need.

I bark out a laugh. It’s crazy to think about these two getting old enough to be into girls. It’s even crazier that the five youngest cousins in our family are now teenagers.