Page 129 of Good For Me

My steps slow. It sounded like River’s voice, but didn’t I just leave him outside? How would he have gotten in here so quickly?

“You haven’t even talked to Riv about this?”

“What the hell am I supposed to say to him, Reed?”

That’s when I realize that the first voice I heard wasn’t River. It was his dad. Daltrey and Reed are in there. So why did I hear my name?

“Look, we don’t know anything about this girl,” Reed says, and I freeze entirely. “Have you even looked into her?”

“No.” Daltrey sounds pissed. “I did that when Rose started dating Leo, and it nearly ruined my relationship with my kid. I’m not making that mistake again.”

“Dalt.” Reed sounds frustrated. “This isn’t just about some girl he’s dating. There’s a baby. The stakes are higher.”

“River trusts her.”

Nausea roils in my belly, stronger than I’ve felt since the first trimester. They’re talking about my baby. They’re talking aboutme.

“Which is fine,” Reed says. “But that doesn’t mean we should.”

“You sound like an asshole,” a third voice pipes up. Cash? Lennon? I can’t tell and I’m too scared, too sick, to lean forward and try to see through the crack in the door.

“I’m trying to protect this family.” Reed sounds defensive. “Look, I like Jasmine just fine. She seems like a nice girl—”

“River is in love with her,” Daltrey says, and my stomach roils again, my face going hot. “This isn’t just some fling for him. I’m not going to mess with that. Besides, she’s good for him. Look at how much better he’s doing since they started dating. He got a job, he’s way more responsible—”

“And that’s all great,” Reed cuts in. “But it doesn’t change the fact that we don’t know anything about her. We don’t even know if the baby is actually his.”

“Jesus, Reed,” the third voice mutters as my entire body goes cold.

“What harm would it do for him to ask for a paternity test?” Reed pushes. “At the very least they need to have something official lined up for child support. If she wants money—”

I stumble away from the door, too sick to listen to any more. This is what River’s family thinks of me? That I’m just after his money? That I’m lying about the baby?

God, doesRiverthink that?

Stop,I tell myself, half stumbling toward the first door I see. I could cry with relief when I realize it’s a bathroom—and there’s a lock on the door. After I make sure no one can come in after me, I slide down to the floor, taking deep breaths, trying to get my shit together.

I want Brie. I want her to sit here next to me and talk in that no-nonsense way of hers that always helps me sort through the noise in my head. I’m pissed at the universe for making me overhear that shit rightaftershe left.

On the other hand, if Brie had been there to hear that, I’m pretty sure she would have barged right into that room and kicked Reed Ransome in the balls. So probably better it was just me.

River doesn’t think like that,I tell myself. He doesn’t. I know him.

River is the one who pursued me. River is the one who’s pushed from the very beginning to be involved. River is the one who wanted us to keep the baby, long before I felt like I could do it.

River trusts me.

That certainty makes me feel better enough to stand. I walk to the sink and peer at myself in the mirror. My face is blotchy, my eyes red. I take a few deep breaths and splash water over my face.

So River’s uncle wants him to have a paternity test. I can’t honestly even blame him. This family is worth a shit ton of money. And he’s right—they don’t know me.

But that doesn’t make it sting any less.

I spent a lot of years comparing myself to others. To the kids at school with more money. To the girls who had moms. To the picture perfect two parent households I would see coming into the diner. It took me a long time to get comfortable enough with myself to stop doing that shit—to value myself for who I am and what I’ve made of myself.

I think that’s probably given me a somewhat unhealthy focus on independence. I can only really see myself as strong when I’m not asking anyone else for help.

So hearing what Reed said is like two punches at once. I never wanted to compare my family to River’s. I never wanted to feel less than these people, not because of their money and not because they have this amazing bond, either. Right now, though? Right now I feel like shit. I feel like the poor charity case orphan kid that has no business being around this tight, loving family.