Page 104 of Fight For Me

I fill a mug then lean my hip against the counter, watching my brother. He watches me back, clearly waiting for me to go first.

“Are you going to explain what the hell is going on?” he finally snaps.

“I’m not sure what part you’re having trouble with,” I shoot back. I’m tired and I’m frustrated and the damn ache in my chest won’t give me a moment’s peace. “I fucked up. I hooked up with someone I shouldn’t have and it all blew up.”

If anything, Will looks angrier. “You hooked up? That’s all it was? ‘Cause it sure seemed like more than that when she came back up to the apartment sobbing.”

Yet another pain pierces my side. “She was crying?”

“Of course she was crying! What did you say to her?”

“How is that your business?”

He pushes off from the doorframe he was resting against to stride in my direction. “It’s my business, Wyatt, because she’s one of my best friend’s. She’s family. She’s like my sister.”

“It’s not the same for me,” I tell him. “I never saw her like that.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to hurt her.”

“You think I wanted to hurt her?” I yell. Every shitty emotion I’ve experienced in the last twelve hours is building up and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop from exploding at my brother. “The last thing I wanted to do is hurt her! I tried, Will. I tried to stay away from her.”

His mouth drops open as realization hits. “That’s why you haven’t been home,” he mutters. “Jesus, how long was this going on between the two of you?”

I stare at him, the Miami lie on the tip of my tongue. But I’m too tired to lie anymore. “Two years.”

“You’ve been screwing around with Alex for twoyears?” he yells.

“No,” I say through gritted teeth. “I kissed her two years ago. And as soon as I did, I knew how stupid it was. Knew how many problems it would cause. So I stayed away.”

“You had to go to Seattle to stay away from her?” he asks in disbelief. “You couldn’t have just, you know, kept your hands to yourself?”

I’ve had just about enough of his snark. “No, Will, I couldn’t. I couldn’t be in the same room with her without wanting her. I’ve never—” I shake my head, rubbing at the pain in my splintering chest. “I’ve never felt like that. Never felt that connected to another person. It fuckingkilledme.”

He studies me. “So it wasn’t just a hook up? It wasn’t just because she was in the same condo and it was convenient?”

“Fuck you, Will,” I snap. “You think I would do something with the potential to piss off so many people I love because it wasconvenient?”

“Then why didn’t you tell anyone? If it was something real, why keep it a secret?”

A bitter laugh bursts free. “Right. Everyone would have just been cool with it. Sure.”

“Maybe we would have been if you’d been honest about it,” he shoots back.

“And maybe it would have been exactly the same way. You think I don’t know how you all see this? I’m too old for her. I’m not good for her.”

“So you lied because you thought the family would disapprove.”

“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t share every damn thing with you.”

“That’s the same thing—”

“Fine,” I bellow. “You want to know how I feel? I’m crazy about her. I’ve been crazy about her for two years. I nearly went insane trying to stay away. And walking away from her now is going to be so much worse.” The breath leaves me with the last word as the realization of just how hard it’s going to be hits me.

Will gapes at me, apparently surprised by my outburst. After a moment, his expression turns skeptical. “I gotta tell you, man, you make it hard to believe that you have real feelings.”

I’ve never hit my brother out of anger. We’ve wrestled and messed around and many punches have been thrown over the years. But they were always in good fun. Right now, I really think I could punch him for real.

“You know why it’s hard to believe?” he asks in a maddeningly calm voice. “Because you’re letting everyone’s opinions dictate your behavior. That’s not the kind of thing you do when you care about someone. Hell, I wouldneverlet my family’s disapproval keep me from Eva.”