Page 91 of Wrong For Me

“Okay,” he finally says. “First of all, Rose’s Aunt Paige sounds awesome, and I feel like she and I would get along really well.”

I snort out a laugh. “I haven’t met her, but from what Rose said, she might be nearly as ridiculous as you. So yes, you’d probably be besties.”

“Don’t worry,” he says easily. “I’m sure I’ll get to know her really well when we’re planning the wedding.”

I groan. “Damn it, Bodhi. What part of what I just told you sounds like a joke?”

“It’s not a joke. I’m dead serious. But we can talk about that later. First things first. Why did you shut down after you saw her aunt’s message?”

Describe your best night ever.

It wasn’t even a contest. Out of my entire lonely, miserable life, the night I spent with Rose stands far and above everything else. The warmth I’d felt with her, the bursts of excitement, so different from the cold monotony of my everyday life. That connection, after only a few hours, stronger than any relationship I’d ever had. The way I’d started to wonder if maybe it was possible for me to have something real in my life. Like maybe I wasn’t too screwed up and damaged to have a girl like Rose.

And then the way it had felt the next morning when I realized I was alone in all that.

“This is about that damn NDA, isn’t it?” Bodhi says, exasperated. “Jesus, Leo. For a smart guy you’re such a moron. Talk. To. Her.” He shouts every word, so loudly that I have to pull the phone away from my ear. “Seriously, dude. Talk to the girl. Maybe there’s more to it.”

I already know that there is. After what she told me about her mom and her ex and the tabloids, it’s pretty damn clear why Rose Ransome would want her hookups to sign an NDA. It just hurts that she hadn’t asked me herself. And it kills me that she would think I would want money in exchange for not being a total asshole.

“Look,” he says, voice more gentle. “I know that you have trust issues. I know it isn’t easy for you to let people in. But shit, Leo. You’re never going to know unless you talk to her. So grow the hell up and have a conversation.”

I sit up, rubbing my hand through my hair. “Yeah. You’re right. I just need to get it out there.”

“Fucking finally,” he mutters. “Where is she right now?”

I bite back the snarl. “She’s in the hot tub with a bunch of assholes.”

“What?” he screeches.

I rub my ear. “I told you, the sweater vest guy and that douche from Harvard—”

“You told me she had made friends with them. You didn’t tell me you let her go off on her own to sit in a hot tub with them!”

I snort. “Yeah, because Rose needs anyone’s permission to do anything.”

He mutters something under his breath and I’m pretty sure I hear my name and the wordsstupid fucking idiot. “Listen to me, Leo. Right now, while you’re whining to me on the phone, the girl you’re crazy about is out there somewhere, in abathing suit, with not one but two guys who clearly think she’s hot.”

My mouth feels suddenly dry. “There are other girls, too. She isn’t alone with them.”

“You should be there, you dumb fuck!” I must really be getting to him—Bodhi never swears this much. “She’s hurt and she’s been drinking. You understand they’re going to hit on her, right? They’d be insane not to, she’s ridiculously gorgeous—”

“Watch it.”

He snorts. “Oh my God, I can’t believe you right now. You’re getting pissed that I called her gorgeous meanwhile she’s drunk in a hot tub with guys who have been checking her out all week!”

“Damn it,” I mutter, standing. I’d been so stuck on what happened between us, so consumed by the knowledge that she’d been desperate to get away from me, that I hadn’t even really stopped to think about where she was going. But Bodhi is right. I am being a dumb fuck. Rose is upset and intoxicated. I shouldn’t be on the phone with him. I should be in that damn hot tub, making sure she’s safe.

“I have to go,” I blurt out.

“Duh!” he shouts, completely exasperated. I don’t bother saying goodbye, just toss the phone aside as I rush for the dresser to dig out my swim suit.

I’ve made such a mess of this. Such a stupid, unnecessary mess. Kissing her tonight had been…perfect. Completely perfect. Just like it had been that night in Lake Tahoe. I could have been with her, right now. I’d have to be a complete idiot to not see that’s where our night was heading. We would have come back up to the room and given into the infuriating, undeniable connection between us. Instead, I had to go and act exactly the way I always do—like an asshole. Because I was scared. Scared and stupid. A scared, stupid asshole.

And because I’m a scared, stupid asshole, I’m now running half naked through the fanciest hotel I’ve ever stepped foot in, since I was in too much of a hurry to grab a t-shirt or even a towel on my way out the door.

It’s pitch black on the back deck, small flurries of snow beginning to accumulate. But it’s not difficult to find the hot tub. I just follow the riot of noise around the corner to a nook lit by tiki torches. Apparently, the little hot tub gathering has turned into a full out party. In addition to Rose’s friends, several of the older conference attendees have joined in, and every one of them is drinking. And laughing. And shouting. Apparently when elderly academics let their hair down, they go all in.

Even with all the noise and revelry, it isn’t hard to find Rose. My eyes go straight to her, the way they always have. She’s mostly under the water, but her hair is up in a ponytail and the slope of her golden shoulders in the tiki torch light is enough to make my mouth dry. Ridiculously gorgeous is right.