Page 67 of Sing For Me

Eva

There’s a large part of me that thinks Will might ghost me again after we had the “just friends” talk. So I’m more than a little surprised when he agrees to get pizza with me just two days later. A few days after that, we see a movie after he gets off work. The next night I go to his apartment for poker night with the same cousins I met at the gala. He even agrees to come over and watchRaider of Galaxies—my current Sci-Fi series obsession—with me and my friends. He grumbles about it a lot, but I’m pretty sure he was into it by the end.

I try to tell myself that I did the right thing. Yes, there had been a few days there where it had really seemed like I might be able to make a relationship with Will work. But my reaction to that kiss proved me wrong. If I couldn’t even manage to get close to him for a few minutes without the panic setting in, what hope is there?

But that doesn’t shut up the little voice in my head calling me a coward. The little voice that whispers I should have given it more time. Asked him to move slowly. Explained to him precisely why it was so difficult for me to be physically close to men.

But the very thought of that conversation makes me feel so queasy that I push it from my mind. It’s better this way. We can just be friends and I can stay safe.

Even if it’s hard to look at him and not want to kiss him. Even if sometimes when I’m sitting with him, the urge to touch him is so strong I have to trap my hands under my legs so I don’t reach out.

Two weeks after the “just friends” talk, I meet Will at Ollie’s on his lunch break. The burger joint is becoming a staple for us. I’ve realized that Will spends a lot of time at the shop. If he’s not tattooing, he’s working in the office, always the last person to leave and the first to get there. Lunch breaks are one of the few free hours he allows himself.

We’ve just sat down in what I’m starting to think of as our booth when my phone rings. A familiar ripple of unease goes through me—Dennis has been calling a lot lately. But the unease dissipates when I see Marissa’s name on the screen.

“I should take this,” I tell Will and he grins, reaching for the basket of onion rings.

“More for me.”

“Don’t you dare eat all those,” I demand as I bring the phone to my ear. “Hey, Mar.”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt your lunch.” She sounds stressed out, her voice tight. Not what I would expect when she’s supposed to be enjoying a morning off with her mom.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m stuck in Santa Barbara,” she says. “Mom fell this morning.”

I sit up straighter and Will’s eyes focus across the table, watching me. “Is she okay?”

“They think it’s just an ankle sprain,” Marissa says. “But we’re still at the hospital and I have to get her home and settled. My sister can’t come over until later this afternoon and—”

“Hey,” I cut in. “Don’t worry about it. You need to be there. It’s not like I have huge plans today or anything.”

“You have physical therapy today,” she says, and my stomach drops. I had forgotten.

“It’s fine.” I try to inject some confidence into my voice even though I’m not feeling it. “I can handle it by myself.”

Marissa is quiet on the other end of the line. “I’m gonna call Luke, see if he can take a few hours and—”

“Luke is buried under work, you know that.”

“Geoff then. Or Sosie.”

“Everyone has work.” I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. “Seriously, Mar. I can go to one appointment by myself.”

“I don’t like it.”

My temper flashes. “I don’t need a babysitter.” Across the table, Will is watching me carefully. His scrutiny does little to help ease my mood. “I’m a big girl, Marissa. I can handle this.”

I can tell from her silence that she doesn’t like it but she finally lets out a sigh. “Fine. I’ll arrange for a car.”

“Thanks. Tell your mom I’m thinking about her, okay? Let me know how she’s feeling.”

She sighs again. “She’s being a real treat, let me tell you. Flirting with all the doctors, bossing around the nurses. It’s so much fun.”

I manage a chuckle. “Hang in there.”

I end the call and reach for the basket of onion rings—Will ate almost half of them while I was on the phone.