Page 48 of Sing For Me

Will

I’m usually pretty good at playing it cool.

I developed the ability to stay quiet in the whirlwind as a child surrounded by chaos. Cousins, siblings, tour crew, fans. I’ve always been good at tuning that shit out. When the world around me gets nuts, I can easily escape into my own thoughts and stay there, occupied, for as long as need be. People who don’t know me well often assume I’m pissed off, my expression gets so flat, my features hard. I don’t need the constant input of interaction that many of my cousins do.

It’s always annoyed Rose, who gets nervous and overwhelmed in the face of chaos. “You’re socalm,” she would moan, the word heavy with envy.

But I’m having a hell of a hard time keeping calm right now. Even worse, playing it cool went out the window around the time my lips first touched Eva’s.

I’ve been a wreck ever since our first date. Hell, I’ve been a wreck since the minute I found out who she was.

When I’m not with her, I can lecture myself about being smart until I’m blue in the face. But once she’s standing in front of me? All of my concerns seem to go right out the window. I feel like I have whiplash from how many times I’ve gone back and forth over this.

Try to start something with her? Or run the hell away?

And, apparently, I’m doing a really shitty job of keeping my feelings under wrap.

“It’s so weird,” Everly whispers to Alex from their perch on the loveseat in my apartment, loud enough for me to hear because when did Everly ever do anything truly quietly? “He’s like, pacing.”

“And fidgeting,” Alex says. “Do you see how he’s fidgeting?”

I turn my glare at both of them but they merely stare back, unabashed, expressions fascinated. “We should call River,” Everly says. “He needs to get home and see this.”

“Oh, River’s seen it plenty,” Rose says, walking into the living room with a six pack and two bags of chips under her arms. The girls are having some kind of movie night later, all the little cousins coming over, and I desperately want to get out of here before that happens. But I’m not supposed to be at Eva’s for our second date for almost an hour yet. I know if I get in the car right now I’m going to end up driving right to her place and sitting impatiently outside like a big fucking creeper.

“He’s been like this for two days,” Rose tells the girls before turning to me. “Sit down. You’re making me nervous.”

I throw myself into my favorite armchair and Rose passes me one of the beers. “Breathe, Will.”

“You don’t understand,” I grit out. “Half of me is screaming to stay the hell away from this girl, and the other half of me is screaming to stop wasting time and go get her right now.”

“You should definitely listen to the second half,” Everly says. “Eva is awesome.”

I manage not to groan. I don’t need to be told that Eva is awesome—that was obvious the first day we met. But that doesn’t change the fact that I have been down this road before, and it ended in fucking tragedy.

I cast a wary glance toward my two younger cousins. I know that they’re aware of what happened with Skye. It wasn’t exactly a secret—not that it would have mattered in this family. Secret or not, everybody always knows everything about everybody else eventually. But the only person I’ve ever really felt comfortable talking about it with any detail is Rose.

I love Everly and Alex like they’re my own sisters, and would literally kill someone with my bare hands if they dared to hurt them. But that doesn’t make it any easier to be open about the shit that has the power to break me.

“It doesn’t always turn out like it did for her,” Rose says bluntly, apparently not caring that we have an audience and she’s getting awfully close to a subject I’ve deemed forbidden. “People don’t have to self-destruct as soon as fame comes calling. Look at our parents.”

“Things weren’t all sunshine and flowers for them, Rose,” I snap. “They went through some shitty stuff.”

“True,” she agrees. “But they’rehappy. They’re healthy. They have families, normal lives. They never got close to the hardcore party scene—”

“Because Grandpa ruled that band with an iron fist,” I shoot back. “Most artists don’t have someone like that in their corner.”

“So find out who Eva has in hers,” Rose says, tone maddeningly calm. Also maddeningly logical, because she has a point.

“She doesn’t have much family,” I mutter, thinking about what little Eva’s told me about herself so far. “She seems to have a solid group of friends. But her manager sounds like a pushy asshole.” I scowl. “That’s not a good sign.”

“Will,” Everly cuts in, her always-cheery voice grating on my nerves right now. “Have you ever thought thatyoucould be the strong person in her corner?”

“I tried that once before,” I bark harshly, knowing that I’m being a grumpy asshole to my cousin but unable to stop myself.

To my surprise, Everly holds her ground, all the usual sweetness dropping from her expression as she narrows her eyes. She looks so much like her mother on the rare occasions Aunt Paige is pissed off that it almost makes me laugh. But her next words sober me up real quick.

“You were eighteen years old when Skye died, Will. It wasn’t your fault.”