Page 121 of Sing For Me

“But you already paid me at the beginning of the month,” he goes on. “And the second check was for nearly double the monthly payment we agreed on.”

“So you’re pissed I’m paying you back faster than we planned?”

“Not pissed,” he says. “Just worried.”

I blow out a breath. “It’s nothing to worry about. I had the extra cash, I sent it along.”

“And what about the bank?”

I still then move the needle away so I don’t fuck up his ink. “The bank?”

“They called me as a reference, wanted to know about the reliability of your payments.”

Shit. I had listed the family loan on my application but I had no idea they would actually call him.

“Why are you trying to get a bank loan, Will?”

Because I don’t want to owe you anything. Don’t want any of you to have a thing you can hold over my head.

“Just thought it was time I took responsibility for my own store,” I say instead. “It’s kind of childish to rely on family for my business.”

“It wasn’t a hand out, Will—though I would have gladly given you the money if you asked. We agreed on terms and you’ve stuck to them. What’s childish about that?”

“I just felt ready to move on, that’s all.”

He doesn’t argue with me about it anymore, but I know he isn’t satisfied. He lets me continue my work, though, and I’m relieved that he’ll be out of here soon.

“She seemed pretty good when I talked to her earlier,” I say after a few minutes, and I don’t need to say Lyric’s name for him to know who I’m talking about.

“Yeah, I think she’s having a good day. You know how annoyed she usually gets if anyone makes a big deal about it.”

I wince, remembering how Eva mentioned to me that it seemed odd how much everyone fussed over Lyric when we were at the farm. Lyric hates to be babied because of her past illness but I think we all have a difficult time fully letting go. I’ll have to be more careful about how I treat her.

But it’s hard. We came so close to losing her.

“She had lunch with me and her mom earlier, “Lennon continues, “and asked to have a sleepover with Silas and Cole, which is about as far as she’ll ever go to acknowledging it’s not just any other day.”

Cole, a kid from the neighborhood, has been best friends with my brother and Lyric since they were still in training wheels. She told me once that they’re the only two people who never treat her like she’s fragile.

“Sounds like a nice day for her,” I say, my voice gruff, and Lennon nods, his attention going back to what I’m doing. I’m almost done with the tattoo.

He waits until I’m cleaning up the equipment before he finally gets around to what I’m sure he’s wanted to say the whole time.

“You know, when I was your age, I was pretty miserable. I did a lot of stupid shit because I felt bad all the time.”

My hands clench around the empty ink pots and I don’t look up, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I could have ruined a lot of things, Will. Our band. My life. My brother’s lives. Could have screwed it all up so bad that I never met Haylee. Never had my kids.” I hear him swallow and his voice is thicker when he continues.

“I could have ruined everything that matters to me. And Iwouldhave—that’s the path I was on. I would have, except I started to talk to people. I told my brothers and my dad and your Uncle Levi what was going on with me. I told Haylee. And they helped me, Will. All I had to do was let them in.”

I kind of want to throw the ink pots in his face. How fucking dare he come here, to my shop, in the middle of my work day, and drop all this on me? Like it’s going to magically get easier if I sit down and talk to him? Talk to my dad?

How in the hell am I supposed to do that if I can’t even be in the same room with them without wanting to scream?

If it was just about anyone else in the world, they would have pressed me. Demanded I answer, give them something. But that’s not Lennon’s way. Instead he claps a hand on my shoulder, squeezing briefly before releasing me, then walks to the door.

“Thanks for the tattoo, kid. Go visit your mother, she misses you.”