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Chapter One

Lennon

It’s sunny and warm in our backyard, the kind of day my mom likes to call a Pure California Day. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but she usually says it before sending me and my brothers out to play. “Go have fun,” she says, shooing us out the door. “Go and enjoy this Pure California Day.” But I’m not enjoying it. Not today.

“Lennon, stop crying.”

I rub my hand across my eyes. “I’m not crying.”

My brother Cash makes a face, looking up to Reed for agreement. “He’s totally crying, Reed. He’salwayscrying.”

“You’re a liar, Cash.”

“And you’re a big baby, Lennon.”

Even though I know I’m not supposed to hit my brothers, I just can’t help it. Cash is mean to me all the time. He thinks he’s so cool, always trying to get Reed, our oldest brother, to laugh. “Shut up, Cash!” I push him as hard as I can, smiling when he stumbles. He’s a lot bigger than me, and it makes me feel strong, knocking him off his feet a little.

“Don’t you push me!” he yells, pushing me right back. His face is red now, and I laugh. He’s embarrassed because I almost made him fall in front of Reed.

“Then stop being so mean!” I shout back.

“Both of you stop,” Reed says, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Mom said we didn’t have to practice our instruments all morning, and you’re wasting it fighting. We’resupposedto be finding Daltrey.”

That’s what started our fight. We were playing hide-and-seek in the backyard, and Reed kept letting Daltrey hide, even though it was my turn. They’re always letting Daltrey take my turn in all the games we play. Just because he’s littlest. It isn’t fair.

“It’s not fair,” I mutter, squeezing my hands into fists. I wish I could slam Cash in the face with my fist, that would show him. But I know I won’t do it, not when Mom is home. Shoving is one thing, but actually punching my brother would wind up with me in trouble. Even if he deserves it. “It’s not fair,” I say again.

Reed sighs, sounding a lot like our dad, and bends over so his face is closer to mine. My oldest brother is a lot taller than me, even though he’s only nine. Mom always calls him her little beanpole, ruffling his hair and making him smile in a way that doesn’t look at all like his usual cool-kid face. Reed is always trying to be a cool kid. It’s annoying. I miss the way it used to be, back when Daltrey was still too little to play with us and Reed didn’t try to act like a grown-up all the time.

“Listen, Len,” Reed says, looking right at me. I feel a little stupid for crying before—he can probably see that my eyes are red, no matter what I said to Cash about being a liar. “Sometimes being a big brother means that life isn’t fair. When you have little brothers, sometimes you have to let them have their way.”

“So I don’t ever get to hide?” I ask, hating the way my voice sounds all shaky. Cash is probably going to make fun of me again.

Reed laughs. “You’ll get to hide next, okay? I promise.”

I nod, rubbing my face again. Reed is pretty good at making me feel better. Most of the time.

“What a baby,” Cash mutters, and I feel a big rush of anger. It reminds me of the waves we see at the beach—big and fast and coming right at me no matter what.

“You’re a jerk, Cash!” I yell as loud as I can, trying to get around Reed to shove Cash again. This time I’m going to do more than make him stumble. I’m going to knock him right down into the dirt and—

“Hey!” Reed sounds mad now. “You’re going to wake up Mom!” He casts a worried look toward the house, and my anger goes right out of me, replaced by a feeling I don’t like very much, right in the pit of my stomach. It feels like worry.

“It’s stupid that she still needs naps,” Cash mutters, looking up at our house. “Daltrey doesn’t even take naps anymore, and he’s a baby.”

“I am not a baby!” We all turn around to see our littlest brother marching toward us from the trees behind the house. Of course he was hiding in the trees. It’s the only place he can ever think of. They should have let me hide. At least I have an imagination.

“Sorry, kid,” Cash says. “’Course you’re not a baby.”

Daltrey grins, reaching up to return Cash’s high five. I’m not sure why, but watching them makes me feel mad all over again. Cash never says sorry to me. And he never gives me high fives, either.

“What’s going on?” Daltrey asks, puffing up his chest so that he looks a little bit taller. He always does that when Reed and Cash are around. It looksstupid. “Why didn’t you come to find me? I waited forever.”

“Lennon was throwing a little fit,” Cash says.

“I was not throwing a fit!”

“What did I say about waking up Mom?” Reed asks, shoving my arm. He’s getting mad, I can tell. He always acts like he’s too old to fight with us unless he gets really mad. Then he shoves even harder than Cash.


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