Page 104 of Always You (A Lilac Bay Novel)

I sighed, falling back against the cushions. The gray clouds of the morning had made way for blue skies and bright sunshine. Completely the opposite of my mood.

“Jenny, I don’t think I could stand to lose him.” She didn’t say anything, just waited for me to go on. “He’s like—he’s the thing in my life I can count on, you know? He’s always there.” I thought about Rebecca, about everything I wanted for her, how I would die to protect her. “And I never have to worry about him. There are so many other things in my life that I feel responsible for, that I let myself get all stressed over. But Andrew—”

“You just rely on him.”

“Yes,” I said, grateful that she understood. “He’s the only thing in my life I’m ever just sure of.”

“Well why do you think that would change? If you guys moved your relationship to a different level, all of that stuff would stay the same.”

“But that other level adds complication.” I thought about what Jill had said, the reference Jenny had just made to his reputation. What if Andrew wasn’t the kind of guy who wanted more? “What if it doesn’t work? What if we break up?” I felt a chill at the thought in spite of the bright sunlight. “I don’t think I could handle that.”

“I think you’re worrying way too much without any feedback from him. You don’t even know how he feels about things. You should talk to him. And stop worrying.”

“Yeah, stop worrying, that sounds so easy.”

“We could always head over to Cora’s,” she suggested. “Drink the worries away.”

“I think I’ve done enough of that lately. Thanks, though.” From his carrier, Gordie let out a plaintive howl. “I should get home, he’s probably had enough of being cooped up. Thanks for lunch.”

“No problem. Call me, okay?” She gave me a long hug. “Talk to him.”

“I will. I’ll talk to him tonight.” She was right, I decided. It was stupid to worry about what-ifs without even talking to Andrew. We needed to hash all this out, see where we were. Everything was going to be fine.

It had to be.