Page 101 of Always You (A Lilac Bay Novel)

“Okay, Jill, dial it back a few.”

She held up the purse. “This is Buttercup. She’s my mother’s. A little monster, too, don’t let that face fool you.”

“Are you heading out?” I asked, gesturing toward the door. “I was going to get some air.”

“Good idea. You don’t look your best, Riley.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, following her out. It was a gray morning, the clouds above threatening rain, but the fresh air felt good against my face. I leaned against the brick wall, taking a keeping breath, trying to banish the last of the panic. Gordie was okay. Everything was okay. I felt the strongest urge to call Rebecca, to make sure that she, too, was fine, but I knew that was just overreacting.

“You know, Riley,” Jill said, joining me against the brick. “I really envy you.”

I glanced down at her sweat suit, hugging every one of her perfect curves. Her hair was in a messy bun on her head and somehow even that looked feminine and sexy. On the other hand, I was wearing my baseball t-shirt and a pair of wrinkled basketball shorts I’d found in my panic to get out of the house.

“Why on earth would you envy me?”

She sighed, and suddenly she didn’t look like the sexy femme fatale I usually took her for. She looked—kind of small. Vulnerable.

“I just think you’re lucky. That’s all. With Andrew.”

I tensed. Did she somehow know what had happened last night? That was crazy. But we were both here first thing in the morning and maybe I still had sex hair and—

“I mean, I had a good time with him, you know,” she said, and the whirring in my brain screeched to a halt.

“You and Andrew, huh?” I said, trying and failing to keep my voice steady.

“Well, the whole sneaking off to kiss was really fun, don’t get me wrong. And that boy canflirt—”

“Wait.” I grabbed her arm. “You guys didn’t—you didn’t have sex?”

“Well, not yet anyway.” She looked a little wistful, but something in my chest seemed to loosen and expand. He hadn’t slept with her.I’m not nearly as promiscuous as you think I am.Had he really meant that?

Jill was still talking—and her next words seemed to suck all of the air out of the immediate area.

“I mean, I’ve been with guys like him before, you know? The player guy. And it’s fun, it really is. They know what they’re doing. I’m not knocking it.” She shook her head. “But players always leave. It’s kind of their thing. And sure, it can be great while it lasts, but—sorry, I’m babbling.”

I wondered if she could see the panic growing in my eyes.

“I’m just saying you’re lucky. Because you have that guy as your friend. And you know he’ll never leave. He won’t move on to the next girl.” She shrugged. “’Cause its not just sex with you guys.”

Oh, God.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I managed. “Just worried. You know. About the cat.”

She patted my arm. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’ll be thinking good thoughts, okay? You let me know how he is.”

I watched her walk away, her hips swaying in her velour yoga pants, her words spinning through my mind.

I was sure that Andrew could tell that something was off with me, but I think he put it down to lingering worry about the cat. Still, I was relieved when he got a phone call a few minutes after returning to my apartment.

“It’s my dad,” he said. “I should take it.”

He ducked into my bedroom with his cell and I curled up on the couch with Gordie. Going to the vet always wiped him out, which meant he submitted to me petting him for much longer than he would normally tolerate. I was thankful for that. I needed something to do with my hands, something to distract me from what Jill had said.

You can’t freak out about this. Sleeping with Andrew doesn’t mean he’s going to change. Look at how he was with Gordie this morning. He acted like your best friend. We would be able to hang onto that even if other parts of our relationship changed. Wouldn’t we?

Andrew emerged from my bedroom a few minutes later, scowling. “I have to go help my dad with something,” he said. “They’re short on crew for this project.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry. He’s not going to drop it.”