Page 58 of Game Misconduct

Tanner let him go because he was pretty sure he’d end up with a black eye if he tried to grab him again. And also, that was kind of weird and creepy and Tanner was trying to be the opposite of weird and creepy.

He was trying to be supportive and apologetic or whatever, but he wasn’t so good at that.

Because hurting Leif made him feel like shit. And it clearly also madeLeiffeel like shit, which was even worse.

“I’m sorry! I’m … dude, I’mreallyfucking sorry,” Tanner said, walking farther into the room because he felt like if he didn’t move, he’d explode or something. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I wasn’t thinking.”

Leif turned to look at him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do youever?”

“I try,” Tanner admitted. “I’m just … not very good at it.”

Leif cracked a smile. It wasn’t a very big one but it was something, so Tanner took it and ran with it.

“So, we know I’m kind of a dumbass. And I, uh, definitely speak before I think, which is what happened today. I wasn’t trying to say losing the game was yourfaultor anything.”

The little smile at the corner of Leif’s mouth disappeared.

Shit.Tanner scrambled to come up with something he could say that would be better. “You were awesome. Honestly. Like … your hockey makes me horny.”

Leif snorted. “Everything makes you horny.”

“Well, true,” Tanner said. “But think …extrahorny. Like I’m not even trying to be dirty here but your stick handling and your speed and holy shit, your dekes are fucking incredible. And when you go tearing up the ice and split the D that way, or bat the puck out of the air while you’re going and just carry it up the ice … it’s fucking hot, dude.”

“Yeah?” Leif arched one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

“And you were so goddamn good today. You just … you had bad puck luck. Honest. And, also, your team kinda needs better defense but that’s not your fault.”

Leif scowled, but he also nodded, so Tanner took that as a win.

“So, like … the game totally could have gone the other way.”

“I don’t know about that. Your guys were pretty fucking dialed in today,” Leif said slowly, like he didn’t really want to say it but he kinda had to, and it made Tanner smile.

“But I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“It’s not very sportsmanlike,” Leif said, his lemon face back.

“I know. And it was totally the wrong time to say it. I guess … I guess I was thinking this was more like the All-Star games, you know? Where no one takes it super seriously.”

Leif scowled. “This is way more than that. Unless the league changes its policy, I mightneverget a chance to play for Team Norway in the Olympics. Yeah, this is a made-up tournament and I had to wear some weird Nordic team jersey rather than Norway’s colors, but this might be the fucking closest I get to that other than at Worlds. This was abig fucking dealto me.”

“Ahh fuck,” Tanner said because he hadn’t quite realized how seriously Leif took it. “I thought it was just a normal chirp but as soon as I said it, I realized I crossed the line.”

“Yeah, you fucking did.”

“So, I’m sorry.” Tanner stepped closer. “I—I hate the thought of you being mad at me.”

“I’m always?—”

“No you’re not,” Tanner pointed out. “You’re usuallyannoyedby me but it’s fun for both of us. This isn’t fun, Leif.”

He sighed and sat on the end of the bed. “No, it’s not.”

“So I feel bad about that.”

Leif looked up at him and Tanner had the weirdest urge to reach out and cup his cheek and just, like … hold him or something.

Leif sighed. “Okay.”