Page 154 of Game Misconduct

Because that was what he wanted. Tanner. Forever and always. His mess and his mind that jumped everywhere. His chaos and his kindness.

Leif had maybe always wanted it.

Even back in Juniors when he thought he hated Tanner. Because maybe it wasn’t hate, maybe it was fear. Knowing that he’d turn Leif’s life upside down if he let him.

Because Leif was never going to be the same.

Even if Tanner said they were over and done with right now, he’d never be the same.

Tanner frowned. “I don’t know.”

And Leif’s heart broke.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

“Whoa,” Tanner said as Leif put his head on his knees and started breathing hard. “What is happening here? Are you having another panic attack?”

“No,” Leif muttered. “Just go.”

“I’m not fucking going anywhere, Princess.” Tanner scooted closer. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Well, too bad. You’re gonna do it anyway. And like, you’re gonna need to breathe too.”

Leif huffed, lifting his head. “Fuck you.”

Tanner grinned. “There he is. Okay, so like, whatever I said just fucked you up. Why?”

“You said youdon’t know,” Leif pointed out.

“Well sure,” Tanner said. “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know anything. But we can figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Leif said slowly.

“What works for us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, Princess.” Tanner pressed a kiss to Leif’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I freaked you out. Look, I don’t know what I want in a relationship because I’ve never wanted to have one until now. But the cool thing is, all we have to do is talk about it.”

“Okay,” Leif said slowly, still feeling a little strange and shaky.

“But I’m cold, I’m covered in cum, and slightly drunk, and starving. So maybe we should do something about that first?”

“Probably,” Leif agreed, wincing. Because how fucked up was he that Tanner had figured all that out before him?

“So what order do we do this in?” Tanner popped to his feet and held out a hand.

Leif let him drag him to his feet. “Well, I ordered delivery a while ago. The lasagna might be a little dried out because I’ve been keeping it warm in the oven, but …”

“Don’t care,” Tanner said, “I’d eat cardboard right now.”

Leif made a face. “Shower first, I think? Then we’ll hydrate and eat.”

“In bed,” Tanner said. “We’ll do it in bed and then we’ll talk, okay?”

“Okay.”