Page 98 of Mad Mabel

“Amelia! Time to wash up for dinner!”

Amelia broke free of her game. “Coming, Mama.”

Even her voice was sweet. Through the leaves and flowers, Iwatched her making her way carefully down the tree until she reached the last branch, which was a significant height from the ground. She must have had help to get up there.

“Mama!” she called out. “It’s too high.”

Daphne and I ducked behind the tree as the door squeaked open. But when I peeked around, I saw it wasn’t Susan who came outside. It was my father.

The sight of him made me slick with sweat.

“It’s okay,” Daphne said. “Just stay down.”

Dad crossed the lawn and extended his arms up to Amelia. Given the extent to which I hated this man, it shouldn’t have felt like such a betrayal. His back was to me so I couldn’t see his facial expression. Was he smiling at her? Was she smiling back? I strained to hear conversation between them, but I heard nothing until an impatient “Come on.” From my father.

He was a tall man, and his arms almost reached her, so what happened next made no sense. He was right under her when Amelia slid from the tree toward his waiting arms. But instead of him catching her, she kept on sliding. He made no move to grab her as she let out a tiny, shocked scream.

A millisecond later she smacked against the ground.

The sound of Amelia’s cries, high-pitched and pained, would forever remain etched into my brain.

“Stop making a fuss,” my father told her.

Susan was out the door within seconds. She swept the child into her arms. “Shhh, darling. Mama’s here. It’s okay. Shhh.” To my father she said: “What happened?”

“I wasn’t ready. She just jumped. You need to pay attention, Amelia!”

Amelia was wailing, clutching her right arm. Susan thought it might be broken.

My father wondered if dinner was nearly ready.

I thought of all the times my father had been annoyed with me for something outside my control, and how my mother had pandered to him, to the point of dismissing me. I remembered the confusion I felt during those times. The shame I felt. It was different watching it happen to someone else. Instead of feeling confused, I felt clear. Instead of feeling shame, I felt rage.

Susan carried Amelia back into the house, and my father followed unhurriedly.

Daphne pedaled home much slower than she had on the way there. We didn’t speak. Daphne understood, without being told, that I needed time to process things.

What had I wanted to see? It was true I’d felt betrayed at the idea of being replaced by another daughter. Even the love that he had apparently felt for Kitty served to remind me that I’d been deficient as a daughter. If he’d caught Amelia, and showed affection toward her, it would have been yet another knife in the back. But seeing him reject that little girl, with her soft voice and innocent play, wasn’t what I wanted either.

I may not have known why I felt compelled to go there that day, but I’ll always be glad I did. Because that was the day I realized that my father was a monster. And it was never about me at all.

66

Iprobably should have been grateful. Christos had not died, nor had he become brain damaged from the fall. He’d had a couple of days off school with a bad headache, but the following Monday he was back, and more or less good as new.

Unfortunately, my concern about his mother turned out to be founded.

“I’m sorry, Mabel,” he said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She knows what it’s like to be judged unfairly. Ever since we came to Australia, she’s complained about people judging us because we’re Greek!”

I nodded.

“We can still hang out at school.”

“I understand,” I said. And I did. Good things were for other people, not for me. My father had made sure of it.

The least I could do was ensure the same fate for him.

Three months after his death, Mr. Loukas’s fiancée was charged with his murder. Within a few days, she’d confessed.