Page 99 of Darling Girls

And so they barged into Jessica’s room with the confidence of sisters. But to their surprise, Jessicawasasleep. The hallway light illuminated her, curled up on her side, hands clasped in prayer under one ear. Drool shimmered down the side of her face. She wassnoring.

‘We can talk to her in the morning,’ Alicia said.

They were about to close the door, when Norah said: ‘Did she vomit?’

Alicia opened the door again. On second look, she saw that Norah was right. It wasn’t drool on Jessica’s face. It was vomit.

As they crept towards her, Alicia noticed a bottle of pills on the bedside table. She hurried over and seized it. Benzodiazepines.

She flicked on the bedside light. Jessica’s lips were blue.

‘Call an ambulance!’ Alicia shouted at Norah. Turning, she slapped Jessica hard across the face and waited for her to sit up angrily and ask what the fuck they were doing. She didn’t. Her eyes remained closed. The snoring sound they’d heard was actually more of a gurgling. ‘Jesus. Tell them to hurry!’

*

Jessica was rushed out of the ambulance, straight into Emergency. Even Alicia, who’d travelled in the ambulance with her, hadn’t been able to keep up with them, and was stopped at the double doors when she got there.

Meera had followed the ambulance in her car, with Norah in the passenger seat. Now the three of them stood in front of a tired-looking, ponytailed emergency nurse in scrubs and sneakers who was examining the empty bottle of pills.

‘Ada Rogers,’ she said, reading the name on the label aloud. ‘Any idea who that is?’

Alicia and Norah shook their heads. Alicia had never heard of Ada Rogers.

‘Were you aware your sister was abusing benzos?’

They blinked at each other stupidly. The humiliating thing was that they’d always considered themselves so close. Closer even than biological sisters, they’d tell people. They felt each other’s feelings before they felt them themselves. It had been a source of pride; a badge of honour.

And yet they hadn’t known.

It was true Alicia had thought Jessica was acting strangely. She’d even asked if she was on something – but she hadn’t really meant it. Why had she allowed herself to be so easily reassured? Why hadn’t she pushed it? Jessica had been unnaturally calm; Alicia should haveknownsomething was wrong.

‘Are you sure this is the drug your sister took?’ the nurse asked.

‘No,’ Alicia said. ‘But this is what we found at her bedside.’

‘Was she taking any other substances that you’re aware of? Any opioids?’

‘I don’t think so,’ Alicia said. She looked at Norah, who shrugged.

‘Alcohol?’

‘No,’ they said together.

A gurney came flying through Emergency and they all had to squeeze against the wall to allow it to pass. When it was gone, Norah said, ‘She’s going to be okay, right?’

‘It depends on how much she has taken,’ the nurse said. ‘An overdose of benzodiazepines is very serious. It can produce severe and prolonged respiratory distress. Her breathing rate wasn’t great when she arrived.’

Alicia found it hard to hear the words. She was too focused on the nurse’s serious expression. She hadn’t immediately reassured them. She wasn’t smiling and telling them Jessica would be okay. She looked sober. Guarded. It scared the crap out of Alicia.

‘But she’s not going to die, is she?’ Alicia asked.

The nurse’s expression didn’t change. ‘We will do everything we can for her. But at this point, we can’t rule out the possibility that the overdose may be fatal.’ Now her face softened into something like sympathy. ‘I would suggest you call any close family members as soon as possible.’

52

NORAH

Norah and Alicia slept on the plastic seats in the waiting room. Meera left at some point to feed the dogs, and returned a little while later with blankets and pillows and bottles of water. Now she’d gone for coffees.