Page 89 of Darling Girls

‘“I’m pregnant,” I announced one morning at breakfast.

‘John looked up from his plate. By that point, I’d managed to conceal my pregnancy for nearly five months. It was easier than I expected. When no one pays any attention to you, you can hide quite a lot. Even if they were having sex with you, it turns out. Eventually, I realised that if I didn’t tell him, John might not ever realise that I was pregnant.

‘As my comment registered, John’s gaze dropped to my stomach. Unlike the last few months, when I’d dressed in oversized, baggy clothes, that morning I’d made no effort to conceal my growing belly.

‘My mother stood by the sink, water dripping from her rubber gloves onto the kitchen floor.

‘“No,” she whispered. But she could see that it was true.

‘John’s expression told me I had good reason to be terrified. His lips tightened, his nostrils flared, and his fat hands trembled. The fact that neither of them asked who the father was spoke volumes.

‘“You filthy little whore,” John said, rising to his feet. The quiet menace in his voice was more frightening than if he’d been shouting.

‘I had prepared myself. I’d packed my bag and it was on the porch. I knew John would kick me out for being pregnant, despite the fact it was his fault. Mum would do nothing to stop him, but she’d probably feel sufficiently guilty that she’d manage to connect me with friends in Melbourne or find some money to help me get started.

‘The timing of my announcement was important. I needed plenty of daylight if I was going to walk into town (I doubted John would give me a ride after what I had to say), then get a bus to Melbourne. There, I’d find a women’s refuge, get on welfare, and then find a job and a place to live.

‘I’d thought about this day and night since the moment I realised I was pregnant. How could I have predicted that when John found out, he wouldn’t kick me out? I should have known he’d do the opposite. Put me somewhere he could keep an eye on me.’

‘The basement?’ Dr Warren guesses.

‘Bingo.’

He smiles. Then he catches himself, straightens his face, and nods sombrely. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘This time, I was in the basement for months. My mother brought me food and drink, even a few books, but she rarely spoke to me. John didn’t visit at all, which was a not-insignificant blessing. He had told everyone I’d been sent off to boarding school. It was genius. No one would think to question it. When I was old enough to have finished high school, John could say I’d gone away to university, then moved overseas. If my mother and John had been more sociable, it might have been hard to hide me, but as they rarely had visitors it was possible that I could spend the rest of my days in the basement and no one would think to look for me.’

Dr Warren’s face lights up. ‘Being locked in a basement for months on end can have serious psychological consequences for anyone, let alone a pregnant teenager,’ he cries.

‘I realise that,’ I say, and he has the grace to look sheepish.

44

ALICIA

It was getting late, and Alicia was tired. Beside her on the couch, Jessica looked wrecked. Meanwhile, Norah continued to hound Anna with questions.

Even though the idea that Amy wasnotimaginary had crossed Alicia’s mind in the past few days, it felt too enormous to process. Alicia could have spent a hundred years reflecting on it, and it still might not have sunk in. Norah, meanwhile, had already moved on to what it meant for them now.

‘What I don’t understand,’ she was saying to Anna, ‘is how we’d even know it was Amy’s remains under Wild Meadows. How could they identify her, if there are no records?’

‘Given what you’ve told us, thereisa way,’ Anna said. ‘If the child had six toes, that will show up in the coroner’s report.’

‘Of course,’ Alicia said quietly. ‘I hadn’t thought.’

‘And if itisAmy,’ Norah continued, ‘will Miss Fairchild be charged?’

‘Not necessarily,’ Anna said. ‘When a body has been buried for so long it can be hard to determine the cause of death, so it is often very difficult to make a case for murder or manslaughter. If, indeed, Miss Fairchild did murder her.’

‘But the fact that she denied Amy’s existence . . .’ Norah said.

‘Is compelling, definitely,’ Anna said. ‘But let’s take this one step at a time.’

‘Okay, but are you feeling confident?’ Norah asked. ‘I mean, you don’t think we could be blamed for anything, do you?’

‘My job is to make sure you aren’t,’ Anna said. ‘Oh, one more thing: does Dirk Winterbourne continue to deny having seen Amy?’

‘As far as we know,’ Alicia said. ‘That was always the weirdest part for me. If Dirk had seen her, why didn’t he say anything? The only thing I can think is that Miss Fairchild had something on him.’