Page 72 of Darling Girls

‘Yes. It was written across her chest.’

The visit had been routine. Apparently, Scott was on sick leave and so Sandi had stepped in. She’d asked about Jessica, but she’d been unconcerned when Miss Fairchild explained that she was at a friend’s place. The social worker hadn’t asked about Amy at all.

‘Maybe Miss Fairchild bought the doll for Amy?’ Alicia suggested.

‘But it was old and dusty,’ Jessica said. ‘It looked handmade. Like something you’d find at an old lady’s house.’

‘Amy is a common name,’ Norah said, after a moment’s consideration. ‘Maybe she had a doll called Amy when she was a child?’

‘Probably,’ Alicia agreed.

But as they all fell silent, Alicia had a feeling she wasn’t the only one searching for another explanation.

‘Hello, Barbie,’ Alicia said. ‘I’m Mr Teddy.’

Alicia kneeled in front of Amy, the girl’s teddy in her hand. They had just arrived home from school to find Amy sitting on the living room floor clutching a bald Barbie doll. Miss Fairchild was nowhere to be seen.

Alicia bounced the teddy up and down. ‘Uh-oh.’ She threw the bear up in the air and let it drop to the floor. ‘I fell down.’

It was a pathetic attempt at play, but Alicia was rewarded with one of Amy’s magic giggles. Alicia would have thrown the teddy a million times for that giggle.

It was unusual for Alicia to seek out a moment of joy like this. In the period following Grammy’s death, Alicia had noticed that on the rare occasion when someone showed her kindness – letting her cut in front of them at the shop, a teacher commenting on work well done, someone paying her a compliment – it pushed her to the verge of tears. Her vulnerability had become so embarrassing that instead of seeking kind people she sought out those who disliked her – like Edwina Wooldridge, the mean girl at school who always seemed revolted by Alicia’s very existence. Something about her cruelty fortified Alicia. The certainty and security of what she was getting became like a drug. A much more powerful drug than the agony caused by a desire for love and warmth.

But it was different with Amy. Perhaps it was the darling little face that transformed with her moods, from puzzled to delighted to angry as if at the flick of a switch. Or maybe it was her theatrical gestures – the way she tapped her toe when she was impatient, or cupped her chin to think. Or maybe it was the comfort she brought. It was astonishing how much comfort one chubby little hand on your thigh could provide. Alicia became hungry for it.

‘Wheeeeee!’ Alicia cried, tossing the teddy in the air.

Of course, Miss Fairchild materialised to quash her joy. ‘Oh,’ she said to Alicia, not even trying to conceal her disappointment. ‘You’re home.’

‘Again,’ Amy said, picking up the teddy and handing it back to Alicia.

‘Hello, Barbie,’ Alicia started, bouncing the teddy. ‘I’m Mr Teddy.’

But before Alicia could toss the bear, Miss Fairchild snatched it away.

‘No!’ Amy cried.

Miss Fairchild dropped to her knees beside the girl. ‘I can be Mr Teddy,’ she said. ‘Look!’ She started bouncing the bear frenziedly.

‘No!’ Amy repeated, louder.

But Miss Fairchild just kept bouncing the bear desperately. She was so caught up in it she didn’t even notice Amy picking up the Barbie. Alicia did, though. She saw what was about to happen as if in slow motion, but she was powerless to prevent it.

Amy thwacked the doll hard against Miss Fairchild’s forehead.

Miss Fairchild gasped, tears springing to her eyes. Alicia was about to ask if she was all right when Miss Fairchild lunged forward, slapping Alicia across the face so hard that she saw stars.

Amy seemed to take an active dislike to Miss Fairchild after that. And the girl’s affection for Norah, Alicia and Jessica seemed to increase in correlation to her dislike for Miss Fairchild.

‘No!’ Amy would squeal when Miss Fairchild tried to pick her up, her little body tensing and thrashing. ‘Down. I not like you.’

The more Miss Fairchild smothered her with attention, the more irate Amy became. Alicia realised that she rather enjoyed it, even if it made her worry for Amy, who was too little to understand how dangerous it was to make an enemy of Miss Fairchild.

‘We don’t speak to Mummy like that,’ Miss Fairchild said at first, trying to cajole Amy out of her mood, but after the sixth or seventh injury from a flying Barbie doll, she began to lose patience.

‘That’s very naughty, Amy,’ she said one day, after Amy had tried to slap her. ‘Now you’re going to have a time-out in your highchair.’

Alicia didn’t dare intervene as Miss Fairchild dragged a crying Amy to the kitchen, but she bore silent witness, hopeful that perhaps her presence would temper Miss Fairchild’s anger. Norah and Jessica also appeared, perhaps hoping the same. Miss Fairchild was lifting the girl into the highchair when Amy’s foot – in a patent-leather Mary-Jane – connected with her face.