Page 40 of Darling Girls

‘Why don’t we dance now?’ Alicia said suddenly. ‘We can have a dance party for Norah’s birthday.’

Jessica scoffed. ‘Yeah, right. Like Miss Fairchild wouldn’t lose her mind.’

‘She wouldn’t,’ Alicia said, ‘if it was asilentdance party.’

Jessica and Norah looked unconvinced.

‘Come on, spoilsports.’ Alicia rose, crossed the room and pretended to put a tape into a cassette player, feeling excited and a little foolish. ‘Norah, what’s your favourite song?’

‘“Kung Fu Fighting”,’ she replied without a moment’s hesitation.

‘Good choice,’ Alicia said. ‘I’m putting it on. There you go, it’s playing. Now . . . dance.’

Alicia closed her eyes and began shimmying her hips, her shoulders, her hands. Before long she was bopping wildly around the room. There was something about it – the sense of release – after the tension of the past few weeks. It felt fantastic. Alicia got lost in it.

When she opened her eyes a few minutes later to check on the others, Jessica and Norah were also dancing. Norah was standing on her dressing table, playing air guitar and kicking her legs high. Both girls were smiling.

And to her surprise, Alicia realised she was smiling too.

‘Alicia? Can you come in here a minute, please?’

The next day, Miss Fairchild called out to her as soon as she walked in the door from school. It was her polite voice, which perhaps should have tipped Alicia off that they had visitors. Usually when they arrived home Miss Fairchild either ignored them or ordered them to do chores.

When Alicia saw the social worker in the living room, she squealed. ‘Sandi! You’re here! Am I going home? I was worried when I didn’t hear from you. I thought you would call in a few days. What happened?’

Even as she talked, her delight turned to irritation, and then tears. She hadn’t known emotions could transition so fast.

‘I’ll give you some privacy,’ Miss Fairchild said, standing. She was dressed particularly nicely today, in a linen dress andpearls,and she’d curled her hair.Obviously she’d known Sandi was coming.

‘What’s wrong?’ Alicia asked when she and Sandi were alone.

Sandi stood. She was wearing the same electric-blue frosted eyeshadow as last time, with spidery mascara. Her nails were orange and she smelled of sickly floral perfume.

She took Alicia’s hand in one of hers. ‘Your grandmother couldn’t call, honey – she was too ill from the pneumonia.’

Alicia blinked. ‘Grammy haspneumonia?’

‘She did.’ Sandi clasped both of Alicia’s hands now and looked at her desperately. Tears filled her eyes. ‘She became ill in the hospital. I’m so sorry, honey. Your grandmother passed away this morning.’

Alicia pulled her hand away.

Sandi put her arms around her. ‘Shh . . . Oh, it’s okay, honey. I know. I know. Shh . . .’

Sandi didn’t need to shush her; Alicia wasn’t crying. She stared, unblinking, over the social worker’s shoulder. ‘Grammy’s . . . dead?’

‘I’m so sorry, sweetie.’

Sandi hugged her tighter. Alicia just stood there. It was as though someone had turned a dimmer switch. Everything became dark. Her limbs became heavy and cold and she buzzed, like static was running through her.

Finally Alicia pushed Sandi away. ‘Why didn’t someone tell me she had pneumonia?’

‘I thought youweretold.’ Sandi glanced at the door Miss Fairchild had exited through.

‘I didn’t get to say goodbye to her,’ Alicia said dumbly. And then, almost immediately: ‘What will happen to me?’

Your grandmother has just died and you’re already thinking about yourself!the little voice said.You are a selfish girl. You didn’t deserve her.

‘I’ve explained the situation to Miss Fairchild. Obviously, you were only meant to be a respite placement, but under the circumstances she’s willing to keep you on here indefinitely.’