Page 85 of The Soulmate

‘Did you reach out to him?’ I asked. ‘Suggest a meeting?’

‘My lawyers attempted to connect with him on my behalf, but he wouldn’t speak to them. So, I kept an eye on him from afar. When I discovered he’d become a landscape gardener, it was easy. I hired him to do the garden, and then I sat out there and struck up a conversation with him.’ Max smiled. ‘He was a shining light, Amanda. So much like Harry. I couldn’t stop staring at him. It was like watching Harry if he’d lived. I offered him at job with NewZ on the spot. I couldn’t resist.

‘Gabe had all of Harry’s magic. He had his darkness, too, but I told myself it wasn’t as bad in Gabe. I thought if I offered him a career, gave him a sense of purpose, it would help. I even spoke to his wife, Pippa, at the Christmas party and told her to call me if she ever needed anything.

‘Gabe had a picture of his daughters, Asha and Freya, on his desk. They are the most darling little girls; I can’t even describe it. I took a photo of the photo.’ He shook his head. ‘Freya is a dead ringer for my mother. And Asha, she has that cheekiness, you can just see it, even in the photo. I saved the picture onto my computer, and sometimes I would log on just to look at it. The sight of their little faces . . . often it brought me to tears.’

I thought of the time I’d seen Max looking at his computer, all misty-eyed. It all made sense now. He was looking at Harry’s granddaughters. His great-nieces.

‘Why didn’t you tell Gabe the truth about who you were?’ I asked.

‘I planned to, once we’d developed a relationship. I almost did, once. We were in my office, and he started talking about his wife and daughters. Conversation moved naturally to extended family, and I managed to ask about his father.’ Max sighed. ‘I’ll never forget the look on his face when he told me how his father’s wealthy parents had turned his pregnant teenage mother away. I thought it was the most disgusted a person could look. But then he told me about his uncle, who apparently became aware of his existence when he was a teenager. He talked about how his mum had made him do a cheek swab, which had confirmed that we were, in fact, related. He said, “Can you believe that? He’d only just discovered I existed, and instead of asking to see my face, he asked to see my DNA.”’ Max sighed. ‘That was the moment I knew that if I wanted to have my nephew in my life, I would have to keep our connection a secret.

‘When Gabe moved away, it was hard. I still worry about him every day. The same way I would have worried about Harry, I guess.’

He looked up, meeting my gaze for the first time since he’d started talking. ‘This is why I decided never to have children, Amanda. The mental illness that runs through our genes has taken so much from me. First Mum, then Harry. As soon as I’d confirmed Gabe’s existence, I promised myself I would look out for him. But I wouldn’t have children of my own. I couldn’t risk losing someone else I loved to this. It would have broken me.’

For a moment we just sat in silence, as I pondered everything he’d shared. Then Max said, ‘I’ve never told anyone about this, Amanda.’

‘Your secret is safe with me,’ I replied.

And, as it turned out, it was.

85

PIPPA

NOW

‘She said you were her soulmate,’ Gabe says.

The three of us stand together by the cliff edge as Gabe recounts Amanda’s last moments.

‘She said that?’ Max asks.

Gabe nods.

Max takes a moment to absorb that. As his eyes grow misty, a desperate sadness washes over me. For a moment I think he might cry, but instead he takes a long deep breath and says, ‘Then what happened?’

‘She was going to take the USB to the media or the police. I tried to convince her not to do that. I was thinking of what would happen if it got out. From what she said, there was some stuff on there that –’

‘That would have been damaging to you,’ Max says.

‘Yes.’

Despite the fact that I’d suspected this, it’s still a shock to have it confirmed.

‘I tried to grab the USB.’ Gabe inhales slowly. ‘But she held on to it. We struggled and I managed to pull it out of her grasp. The momentum of it sent her flying backwards and she went over the edge.’

Max closes his eyes, and sighs.

‘I didn’t mean for her to fall,’ Gabe says, emotional now. ‘I tried to grab her before she went over. But I . . . I couldn’t.’

My instinct is to believe him, but I’m not sure I trust my instincts anymore. As for whether Max believes him, it’s unclear. When he opens his eyes, his expression is hard to read.

‘Thank you,’ he says finally. ‘Thank you for telling me.’

Max steps forward so quickly, Gabe doesn’t see it coming. As he wraps his arms around Gabe, he closes his eyes and squeezes them tight. He holds Gabe for a moment, then he pulls back. As he does, he locks eyes with Gabe, and something passes between them that I don’t understand. I’m not sure even Gabe understands. But there’s something powerful about it. I can’t look away.