Page 82 of The Soulmate

Of course I was thinking of Asha. She was her father’s daughter. And as it wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility that her biological mother might also have had bipolar, or another mental illness, I’d be keeping a very close eye on her.

‘The good news is that, with medication and therapy, the prognosis is good. Especially as he has such wonderful family support. I have every confidence that he will lead a full and productive life, Pippa.’

I latched onto this. Clung to it. Perhaps stupidly, after everything that had happened, I felt hopeful. Now that he was receiving proper treatment, I told myself, I’d have Gabe back. The real Gabe.

‘Let’s start again, Gabe,’ I said, a couple of weeks later. I’d spent much of that time at Gabe’s side, learning as much about bipolar disorder as I could.

Gabe was still in the hospital, but the new medication was starting to take effect, and I could see glimpses of the old him. Now that he had been diagnosed, life would get better, I was sure of it. And a fresh start would help him along.

‘We could move out of the city – maybe down the coast? You can have some time off and take care of the girls, and I can grow my client list like I’ve been meaning to.’

We started looking at homes right then and there on our phones. Only a few days later, we fell in love with the cliff house.

There was still the matter of what happened between Max and me. It bounced around in the back of my mind constantly, a bizarre little flashback that felt like a dream. It was the kind of thing that, under the circumstances, I could have kept to myself. We were moving away, starting again. Max was unlikely to mention it. Besides, nothing even happened. Max stopped it before it started.

And yet.

I was surprised to realise there was a part of me that wanted to hurt Gabe. While I accepted that he’d been unwell, it didn’t change the fact that he’d hurt and betrayed me. For my own self-respect, it felt important to even the score. Then I could put everything behind us, for good.

So, while he lay in the hospital bed, I told Gabe what had happened in Max’s office. Except this version had a different ending.

82

PIPPA

NOW

The house is quiet. I race from room to room, throwing open the doors, as if expecting to find Max and Gabe sitting in a bedroom together, but they are nowhere to be found. I’m about to lose hope when, through the back sliding door, I see them outside.

They are standing at The Drop, close to the edge – precariously so. Just as on the day of Amanda’s death, the wind is wild. Both men stand unnaturally tall, their legs wide, their shoulders back. Max has his back to the cliff, Gabe faces it.

I throw open the door. ‘Hey!’ I shout, loud enough for my voice to carry through the wind.

They both turn to look. The colour drains from Gabe’s face.

‘Pippa, go inside,’ he says as I make my way across the lawn and let myself out the gate.

‘No.’

Max’s gaze moves to me. He’s wearing a navy woollen coat over his clothes, brown leather driving gloves, heavy boots. I am in a T-shirt and jeans, but I don’t feel the cold. I feel acutely aware of how deserted it is – mid-week, mid-afternoon, outside of school holidays. There’s no one around. The houses on either side of ours are weekenders, empty today. Anything could happen and there would be no one but us to see.

‘Gabe just explained that he got rid of the USB.’ Max has the kind of careful blank expression that I imagine would be useful in business meetings.

‘It’s true,’ I say. ‘He dropped it into the rocks the day after Amanda died. But I have it.’

Gabe’s head snaps to me. ‘What?’

I hold it up. ‘Asha found it at the beach.’ I keep my gaze on Max. ‘But if I give you this, we want our life back. More importantly, we want to know that our daughters are safe.’

‘You have my word,’ Max says.

‘Wait!’ Gabe cries. ‘You can’t just hand it over. What’s stopping him from going to the police the moment he leaves here? Or what if he forgets to call off his thugs? Pip, he had ourgirls!’ Gabe’s voice cracks.

‘For the record, I would never have let any harm come to . . .’ Max stops suddenly. It’s almost as if he’s lost track of what he was going to say. His gaze drifts to Gabe and it becomes softer. ‘Baz was instructed not to scare them, just to leave the note.’

‘We have to trust him, Gabe,’ I say. ‘What choice do we have? Whatever dirty secrets you have on there, Max, are all yours.’

I hand him the USB. Max takes it, and for a moment everyone is silent. I half expect Gabe to make a grab for it. Perhaps he would have? But after a few seconds, Max drops the USB and crunches it under the heel of his boot. Then, while we watch, he pushes the remnants of the USB over the cliff with his foot.